LoViNg HiM....

2007-07-26T20:16:00.000+08:00

BYE BYE BLOGGER!

MOVED!

http://silentismyname.multiply.com

2007-07-22T19:42:00.000+08:00

My favorite supergirl video! I like the costume that is similar to superman more. The other one looks so kiddish.

2007-07-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

19th July--> Went to watch King Lear play. In the afternoon, i was asking around what they are wearing to go for the play. Then i said i wanna wear jeans, then someone said that it is not formal. I reply confidently that i will still wear jeans and yet it will look very formal. Well, true enough, it did. Yeah! haha. but it was super hot though. Wearing a long sleeve and a jacket that makes the entire thing so hot. Anyway, the play is pretty good, though half the time i'm figuring out what the play is about(dont laugh at me. 90% of those who went will experience this too, if they didn't read the book). Anyway, the play is awesome. Tomorrow is the last day i guess. It is by Royal Shakespeare Company, with actor Ian Mckellen. Go watch it. Get seats like mine. $82. Though its not very good as those of the $400 seats, at least it is ok. At least, you wouldn't be deemed as uncultured and what's more, it is a play by Royal Shakespeare Company, so when you tell people of influence this, they will be interested or go WOW. haha. It ended at 11.45pm. Urgh. Wasted money on cab.

20th July--> PARENT TEACHER MEETING. I told my mom they will say the same thing over and over again. Sure enough, but this time, there is something else too. Ms Ng told my mum that i'm quiet. Quiet in class. Haha. My mum dont believe it when we leave, but i said its true. Maybe they want me to talk more....upon which i dont want to.

ABout 100 days more to exams. Few more weeks to prelims. So fast. To some, exams seems like a chore to them, but for me, i'm having an indifferent attitude. Oh well. I hate this feeling.

She Wept.
She couldn't believe what is happening.
She can't explain how disappointed she was to those around her.
She didn't know what to do.
She couldn't find someone to talk to, nor comfort her.

Her ears couldn't believe what she is hearing.
Her words couldn't express her emotions.
Her eyes ran dry of tears.
Her voice became coarse.
Her mind is in a chaotic state.

"Where are You?"
"Where are You?"

"FEAR NOT, FOR I'M WITH YOU", says the Lord.

One sentence, that totally change her entire mindset. Her situation changes, her problems fade.
Instead of disappointments, He made it into appointments for more things to come.
Instead of a tumbling block, He made it into a stepping stone.

This is my feelings, my emotions.

2007-07-16T18:58:00.000+08:00

In life, there are many lessons to be learn. The question is, "will you be able to learn it?"

For the past weeks, many things happen. Things that are unpreventable, upon which one has to bear, be it good or bad. Sometimes, as a human being, one has to learn to be humble. This is one of the things that truly touched my heart strongly last week and today as well(felt like He has just take a rod and whacked me on my butt. Ouch!). Anyway, i once thought that probably i am getting better at _____, until yesterday. It is so easy, but i can only do it on another level, which defeats the purpose of what i am doing at that point of time. Just now,i was just surfing a web, then i went on to read someone's blog post. Well, it really impacted me a lot. That person(upon which i'm not saying who) wrote something about someone whom i truly respect a lot in my life. Though the writer of the blog post had tried to conceal the identity of the person whom i truly respect, i managed to interpret who it was, because he had mentioned something that ONLY the person had done it in Singapore. Anyway, back to where i was, at this point in time as i am typing this post right now, i felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed of my inability to see through what all these are about and go deeper than be only on the surface. Who cares about surface? Who cares about what others say? He is truly a man worthy of respect. Nowadays, it takes great deal for me to truly respect someone out of awe because i have set high expectations for it, and not out of the need to do so. The man that i truly respect and admire deserves all the kudos. When you have met someone 10 times better than you in your field, you will definitely feel minute, but if you take it positively, it will bring you far and vice versa. I truly thank God for the one who wrote the blog post as well as the man i truly respect for teaching me all the revelations that i gained from your actions and your speeches. Thank God for everything.

These few days i am actually feeling kinda depressed. Probably it is mood swing and all, but deep inside my heart, i'm calling out for God's help. I know i can do it. DEVIL, GO TO HELL. I can defeat my mountains. I can do all things. Hoping that someone will truly understands rather than pull me down. If only i have got a dad like Atticus Finch. But fret not, i have got a Father who loves me so much....He sacrificed His best for my wrongs, my life, my health, and above all, my everything.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

Haven't you heard, I'm Supergirl. You dont wanna mess with me.

2007-07-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

I pray that someone would bless me with a $5 Times voucher. I can get a book. I wouldn't mind more than $5 dollars too. It meant that i can get more books from that series. Haha. *Maybe i'm dreaming.

The intensity of pressure towards A levels is higher. Got back a few of my results. Hmmmm....

19th July 2007--> Have to watch King Lear. The other day i just went to watch Dollhouse. Though Dollhouse indirectly gross me out at the end of the play with nakedness of the female character(i seriously meant it....the female character just went naked in front of you, but not in a direct way)....and suddenly 'ripped' off her hair(which is actually a wig)....she is in fact BALD. Next week, going to watch King Lear. They said that one of the main character is actually the guy who acted in X-men the movie.

2007-07-09T16:41:00.000+08:00

My birthday is over. But i'm still receiving gifts. Today jie min gave me something very interesting...haha. Anyway, throughout the years, i realised that i'm not really that excited about my birthday....an individual dont have to be "super duper" happy on that day just because its his or her birthday. Everyday is my birthday. I grow one day older everyday...haha..anyway, i'm going to blog over here next week the names of those who have gave me pressies and all...stay tuned for that day.

A levels is coming. Mid-year's is over, but still, must study very hard. Thank God for Gabriel. He is always encouraging me...same goes for my cg members. They are always so encouraging. Never be a person who judge others or despises others. be an edifier, not a poison....

2007-07-03T14:16:00.000+08:00

My Birthday is coming in 1 day time(excluding today). Still, i'm not really THAT excited. Even when i was very young, my birthday ain't as marvelous as those of a fairy tale type, but well...anyway, back to what i really want to say here. Exams will be over this week, 2 more papers to go, but A levels coming in 120 days(am still counting..). Every birthday, everyone will wish for things. As for me, well, i'm like the normal tom, dick, or harry, or jane etc, haha...but well, i'm slightly different. There is a list of what i WISH for, and a list of what i WANT. that is 2 different things(if you notice).

Here goes the list of WISH:

World Peace(sounds like a candidate for Miss World, but seriously, the world needed this. God is Peace. Seek Him for peace. PEACE!)
I wish that i can have a statues or action figure of either Spiderman, Superman, Supergirl, Wonder Woman or Fantastic Four. (only a rich person/friend can get me this...haha..therefore, it is a wish. Dont believe how expensive it is, go check out at www.simplytoys.com.sg I've always walked past this shop and go...whoa...)
I wish that i can have a basketball...the adidas one that i used to have. That is really limited edition from Hong Kong. Mum's boss got it for me...it is really very unique, it has my blood and sweat.(serious, not joking. Blood-because i fell and the ball was right in front of me so i hit my jaw then got a bit of cut...blood dripped onto my basketball). Well, however, that ball was lost! Wow. My teammates said that they took the ball and play when i've forgotten to bring home and said halfway through playing, the ball burst. WOW! What a great liar. The guy kept the ball. Basket. I want my basketball back. It contains memories...lots of it. Probably it is something that i should lost too....do i really love basketball that much? Or maybe not. Who knows? Whenever i see someone plays basketball, i will be very excited and wanted to snatch the ball to play. Oh well. I dont have a basketball now, except a converse one, which is kinda lousy. My hairdresser gave it to me last time. I totally dislike that ball. Green and black. Colors that doesn't match.
I wish that many friends close to me would not have go overseas. Really miss them tons. But well, i still miss them, but they will be a memory in my heart. Love still lingers on in my heart.....

Alright...Here is a list of things that I WANT:

A PSP. (which i got it!! whee!! God is great. I told God i want the value pack, ceramic white, with a sticker, with lots of games and i got it!!! Whee...thank God for blessings! Thanks to my mum who got it for me!! Before that she was so reluctant to buy cause she is afraid i wouldn't study but i guess i proved her wrong when i borrow my friend's psp for one month and i did study more than before...haha...praise God!)
Comic book on Justice League, Superman or Supergirl.
Book Vouchers from kinokuniya.
Blessings of money. (dependent on the sum of money...if its a lot, like 3 digits, i would use it to go for therapy for my knee. My knee conditions is becoming worst, especially so during rainy seasons. Really need to go for sports injury therapy and i dont want to ask a single cent from my mum though she offered. If the sum is small, i would use it to add on for my savings to go for missions. I really want to go and make a difference in others life. Our church are all moving towards that direction, and recently so many people have asked me about missions)
Bible. The Message Bible.
Art Designs Magazines or Books.

On sunday, i went to help out with the stage clearing. Well, what impacted me the most was the part whereby rachel and i was just waiting for the musician to guide us to put the stuff. We saw on the outside of the keyboard that we are supporting the tag....it put "fragile, handle with care, top priority.." Well, besides this, there is a check-in luggage kind of sticker that says 29 June, Taiwan. Wow. Rachel said that well, the keyboard has even went for mission trips as compared to us who didn't or haven't go to one before. Wow! This really impacted me and motivates me even more. In the morning, before service, Li Jie asked me about missions, then the keyboard thing. Wow. Praise God for encouragement.

2007-06-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

Mid-year Exams in less than 5 days time.

A level Exams in 133 days time.

I realised that i've been studying longer than i usually do. Ever since i came back from Vietnam, i've been studying for straight 3 hours(the least) and i'm still thinking that it is not enough.

Ever since i went to Vietnam, i realised that there is many things that i've start to change within me.

Before i went for service last saturday, i watched this show. It really encourages me about my relationship with God. Pastor Kong is right about common grace. But well, this is an outright showcase of the girl's relationship with God. Wow. When i reach church, i felt so happy. It is then that i realise that though i wasn't around for just one week of service, i had actually miss church! Wow. The first praise song, How Awesome is This Place, truly speaks what i feel inside of me. That night, i prayed about my studies, about glory. The next day for service on sunday, pastor Kong shared about glory and prayed for students!! I was sitting at the very front(3rd row from the front) and i felt a very strong presence of God. Probably standing there, i was like the 'only' students nearby. I truly felt God's love and His presence upon me. Wow....God is indeed great.

The other day, mum just reminded me that my birthday is coming. I didn't even realised it. seems to be 'trapped' in my own time zone of counting down...haha...

Well, with birthday comes birthday wishes. This is a list of WANTS and not of WISH.

I want to get A's for my exams. (only I, with the grace and strength of God can achieve this. No one can help me with this. NO one can sit for my exams right? Hee.)
A PSP. (my friend psp helps me to release my stress. really..i really want this for a very long time)
A figurine of either X-men, Spiderman, Superman, Supergirl, Fantastic Four from Simplytoys shop. (www.simplytoys.com.sg -->super expensive, can't afford to buy it..haha.)
Supergirl or superman or justice league comic from Comic shop.

Thats all for now...

2007-06-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

Emerge 2007 officially ended last night...

Once again, JC/CI cluster arose as top for tertiary cluster. When i told many of my friends which cluster i belong to, they always said similar things. They said that people from JC/CI are at their peak right now, preparing to go to the university, with physical education still present, they are the 'fittest' among them all. This is with the assumption that all other tertiary institutions are not actively involved in physical activities(excludes those from sports recreation group).

Another thing, many said that SIM/SMU will win because of their strengths in the number of schools they have with the inclusion of private schools. There is only 19 JC/CI. Thus, i have came up with a small poem that goes like this:

I'm being placed in a Junior College for a reason,
Not just for educational purpose,
But to bring Jesus Christ to my college,
To be a Junior Christ for Him,
Is all that i desire o Lord.

I'm currently writing on a poem about emerge as well..so stay tuned!

2007-05-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

http://historytrip07.blogspot.com

My apologies to those whom i have not read your blog for very long..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone is busy with their own stuff, in the end, who really cares for those who needed it?

Stress is inevitable...

11 Days to Vietnam trip....Anyone wants to send me off? Hee....

2007-05-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Tired people change the world.

I'm tired. Very tired.

Extremely tired.

God...

My Strength.

My Refuge.

EMERGE! I CAN DO ALL THINGS!

2007-05-21T20:33:00.000+08:00

NO ONE IN THIS WORLD CAN MOTIVATE YOU TO DO SOMETHING. MOTIVATION COMES FROM WITHIN YOU.

SUPERMAN IS HEROES TO MANY BECAUSE OF HIS PERSEVERANCE TO PULL THROUGH AND HIS DESIRE TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM HARM THAT MOTIVATES HIM TO STAY STRONG EVEN THOUGH AT TIMES HE FELT WEAK. SAME GOES FOR SPIDERMAN.

I BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A HERO IN EVERYONE OF US. THE ABILITY TO DISCOVER THIS WITHIN YOURSELF IS WHAT MAKES ONE GREAT, NOT THROUGH RICHES, GLORIES OR STATUS.

163 DAYS NOW. I'M STILL COUNTING DOWN. THIS IS THE RACE I'M RUNNING...REMEMBER WHAT THE WORD SAYS ABOUT RUNNING A RACE. NEVER WILL I GIVE UP. NO ONE CAN DISCOURAGE ME NOW. NO ONE. I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. SO GOODBYE TO ALL THOSE WHO TRIES TO PULL ME DOWN. IT IS BREATH WASTING TO TRY TO PULL DOWN A STRONGHOLD.

THERE IS NOTHING I CAN'T CONQUER WITH GOD BY MY SIDE. ALL THESE YEARS OF KNOWING GOD, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM HAS BEEN MADE STRONGER BECAUSE OF THE THINGS THAT I'VE GONE THROUGH. PERSECUTIONS, DEPRESSION, REJECTION ETC ALL BECOMES MINUTE TO ME.

EMERGE! I CAN DO ALL THINGS.

2007-05-17T14:35:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i've last blogged.

Many things had happened, and i really want to thank God and glorify Him for it.

Thank God for that 98.7FM came to my school for the talk. They make it realise something about radio.
Thank God that on last wednesday, i was at woodlands mrt station wanting to go to my mum's office but realised that my wallet was not with me! As such, i cannot top up my ez-link for mrt fare even though my card is with me. I started to panic. I really do not know what to do. I turned to God for help. I asked God what to do. Then, i turned and i saw Cherie. She came at the right time! Thank God for His people. What you sow is what you reap. She is my junior and i used to help her, now she is helping me! Though she do not have enough cash to top up my fare card, she gave me money to buy the standard ticket! wow. Praise the Lord!
On saturday, i went to help out for the semi finals drum fest. I really want to thank God that He has placed gifts and talents in us that we can use for His kingdom. Firstly, there is this boy who played 'One Way...Jesus" that song. wow! i can't even do that! Overall, God is indeed wonderful, because the clouds and sky may look gloomy, but prayer works! It only rained a few minutes before the whole event ends for the day! Praise the Lord!
2 weeks ago, i went to change my IC name and my passport because it is going to expire and i'm going overseas to Vietnam. well, the queue was super long yesterday for me to collect my passport, but i thank God that i reached earlier than 4.30 because i've to stay back before that to check the music stand for band. Thank God for it
Went to the doctor just now. I'm feeling better now. whee!! Praise the God who heals.

GP exam and sports day tomorrow...

I want to be God's Supergirl!

2007-05-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

2007-05-03T19:11:00.001+08:00

There is a HERO inside of me.

But as a reflection, i've been through so much pain.

I remember i used to share one of my experience with my friend(who is going through almost the same thing, but less extreme as mine), then she said, "wow" . I do not know what that means, but i realised that everyone has their own battle to be won by THEMSELVES. I can't do that for you. Advice is all one can give to you, but the decision you would have to MAKE IT YOURSELF.

At this very moment, it is 12.24am, Saturday, 5th May 2007. 179 Days to A levels. 4295 hours, and exactly 35 mins left to my first A level paper. That very day itself, will determine the fates of many. Entering a university or not. It is that crucial. What will i become? Where will i go? My journey towards it, will i be able to last that long?

Friends are not those who is always by your side when you are doing well, but rather, they are those who stay by your side when you are at your lowest.

Friends are not those who always seek to take from you, taking advantage of you, always wanting you to buy them gifts etc. Friends give more than they take. It is a reciprocal thing.

Remember reading a philosophical book on friends. Wow. It is exactly like those that the bible says.

Overrated. Vindicated.

Let me slip away.

God, my One and only Refuge, my BEST FRIEND, my Guidance, my Father, my Joy, my Strength. There's nothing i can't do without You.

2007-05-02T17:32:00.000+08:00

Many things come and go in life. The most important part is what it meant to you.

I've learnt something yesterday. Ethan cried very hard because he wanted to see his mother. I brought him to the auditorium, but only at the end of the auditorium. After that, i said that the concert is ending soon and his mother will come any moment. Well, he doesn't buy this, so he continue making noise. Then he said he wanna call his mother, and gave me his mother. I thought it was a wrong number, but guess what, it is a correct one. Through this, i learn and realise something about people. How 'desperate' are we, to want the presence of God? Will we turn to Him and cried out for Him in times of need? Will we give in to other things in exchange for God? Will we be like Ethan, be willing to call our 'hotline' when we needed help? Our hotline is God. 24/7.

I'm listening to the song irreplaceable now. I know the original version is a woman's version, but well, as i've said, male ego can't take it. They came up with the male version. Alright, forget about this(before my feminist's point of view comes in). Anyway, what i really want to say is that after all that i have been through in my life, is God really irreplaceable in my life? Hmm..things to ponder about for me.

2007-04-28T10:02:00.000+08:00

The pressure is coming at a higher level now. What do i do? The high amount of competitiveness, am i losing it now? Tiredness, wears me away, but my attitude and my will to fight, will it fade away too?

Why do people place so much of their time trying to tear down the walls that others have made, instead of doing what they ought to do? Why do people not be able to understand,when what the world seeks for is understanding?

No amount of sleep is going to reduce my tiredness, no amount of relaxation is going to make me feel relaxed and cast away my stress.

What do you do when everything seems to be in a mess? My only source of joy, strength and courage comes from my one and only Saviour, Jesus Christ my Lord.

2007-04-19T18:25:00.000+08:00

Virgina Tech Massacre. Everyone is talking about it now, some being concern, while others just wanna know so that they will not look bad when someone else asked them about it. During GP today, we discussed on this today. There was this notion brought up that the availability of guns should be restrained or to be limited to prevent such things from happening. I gave my views about it, and my teacher(of whom i shall not name here because she says that she checks blogs...) said "GOOD JOB! Yes, thats right!" to it. What i said is that of this: we must accept the fact that in America, guns are allowed to be bought basically by anyone as long as you purchase it with your identity card and all. The reduction of the number of guns to be sold would not solve the problem because as a country, they are very big in size. As we all know, the rural areas which is less developed are places whereby security are low in that area. So in order to protect oneself from being harmed or place in danger, one should not rely on the police force or security force alone. Well, then again, you would rebut me by saying that the government should do something about it. My answer to this is that the increase in the security forces may not help firstly because of the culture of the need for freedom. Secondly, the government would have to pump in lots of money and it does not seems feasible so the only way in which one would feel safe is through the purchase of a gun. In this way, you would not need to rely heavily upon the security forces around to protect you but rather, you would have been able to protect yourself in times of need. However, the opposite would happen too about guns being dangerous to those around people who possesses a gun. I will not go into details on this one as i guess this is easy to reason it out. Anyway, if one is determined to do what he had planned, like take for instance this case, even without a gun, he would have done so through other means to get his message across...probably through other forms of hand equipment which is easily available as well.

It is therefore easy to point fingers at individuals, organisations or government. But it is by knowing the situation, analyzing it, and coming out with the right solution that will help the situation. I've learnt this through my trip to MAS yesterday.

My visit to MAS/Currency House: the first time i've ever seen stacks of that huge sum of money in my entire life. NO ONE reading this entry can claim that they owned that amount of money in their bank, be it their's, their parents or their friends etc. NO ONE. I cannot really say in details what i saw in there, cause i dont know if i can say it or not, or the information that they tell us about in our visit there. They said that they seldom or rarely have visitors there, so i guess not many people knew much about it.

My link section at your right hand side is not yet complete. So if you want a place in my link, do let me know by tagging it on my tagboard. thanks.

2007-04-17T18:35:00.001+08:00

WOW. Pastor Benny Hinn's service is tremendous. I went for all 3 days. The presence of God just gets stronger and stronger from friday to sunday. Those who didn't make it, i guess you really missed out on it. Anyway, i've heard comments from people who said that they can't flow with him, because it seems traditional with all the hymns and all. However, i had a different perspective of it. What _____ said is right. "If you can't flow with Pastor Benny Hinn, it is not because of the differences in styles and all. But rather, you should question yourself if there is something wrong with you. It is still God's presence."~wow. I was impacted by this. On thursday we had a conversation during dinner when celebrating my sister's birthday. That is why life and death are in the power of tongues. The leader who said that really open up my heart.

Felt so blessed. After the 3 days of the healing services, i felt so refreshed. Mum treated Adeline, Cassandra and myself to steamboat after the sunday services. Whee!!

I've just finished writing my write-ins. I'm lifting it up to God because that is a desire of my heart. I believe that whatever that happens is God's will. Hee. Praise the Lord in advance.

IM GOING TO GET A LAPTOP SKIN SOON..

2007-04-14T12:17:00.000+08:00

Construction of Blog layout in progress...but am still gonna blog though.

Congratulations to myself!! Got back my project work results yesterday. I've got a 2!!! Haha. University, here i come!(obviously must have good results also...)

Firstly, i'm sick and tired of strings of assignments of essays. Now, i've got like about 6 essays to complete and all due either on monday or tuesday. After completing all these, there are more coming. It is like a cycle, ever since the school term starts. Now is not the time to fall sick, because i will miss out quite a lot if i dont turn up in school, which i did on thursday. Down with fever on wednesday, and on thursday morning around 5am woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach. Its not cramp, nor is it diarrhoea, nor is it constipation. It is just pain. Anonymous pain.

Secondly, TIME magazine. I've been reading at least about 60-70% of the issue given every week but i realised that i did not do the worksheet that is being given. Everyone seems to be not doing it, and seriously, i couldn't find the time to do it. With that huge loads of work to do, to even squeeze in time for revision is difficult,whats more, to do a worksheet based on what i've read.

Sounds like school sucks? No way. I totally love it. It means that A levels are drawing nearer...199 more days. It means that after the A levels is done, i can do what i had in mind.

Alright. Time to go back to my work. The end of break time. Bye...

2007-04-12T16:36:00.000+08:00

Construction in progress! Please let me know your blog links if you have changed yours. Thanks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS! she got an Apple Macbook laptop for pressie. Black in color, with designs too. So good....how i wish i can have it too.

2007-04-10T17:35:00.000+08:00

Alright. Thoughts of closing down this blog is being dismissed. Reason? Well, i've had this blog for a very long time. I can't bear to close it down. Opportunity cost is low in terms of keeping my blog. So i guess its alright? haha.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANGO! Guess what we bought for her? We bought a bondage handcuff. With feathers. Yuck! But it is cute. I only knew about it yesterday when i said i wanted to contribute. Can't believe they actually went to the _____ shop to buy. The only time that i've been NEAR there, is to stand there with _____ and wait for the rest to go to balcony. haha.

Today, in econs, we learnt about international trade which requires us to know about PED. econs teacher mentioned that it is dependent on it and all. and he gave examples.

Through today's economics class and last week of easter carnival, i learnt more about it through real life experience. The food stores. We as consumers experienced price discrimination. They as firms/producers experienced either monopoly or perfect competition. In a way, they can be either earning supernormal profits, or normal profits. So indirectly, they wont make a loss. Wow. Economics is everywhere.

Today's newspaper on the increment of salary of the civil servant. Many is upset about it. But im on the preposition side.

Tired, but am carrying on this race.

2007-04-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

To close down this blog or not?

Obscureness. Without deliberate obscurity, yet without empathetic response.

Its hard being a follower, yet its even harder....being a leader.

2007-03-27T17:59:00.000+08:00

Mondays to Fridays--> There will be debates about religion. Sooner or later, you will become like me. In my opinion, i think it is useless to 'quarrel' over this. It is really futile. At the end of it all, who are they hurting? They are hurting not the religion, but their friends. Stop it. Seriously. If you are reading my blog, PLEASE....this is for you...haha. And STOP calling me ____ _____ ____ ___. Thanks.

I was pondering over something while taking the mrt. I ask God, how do i know whether i should believe in something or not? Do leaders and pastors and priest for instance speaks the truth? What is the truth? How do i know? Well, i was reminded of two verses:

Matt 6:33--> "But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things shall be added to you."

well, if you have read up on this verse before and the deeper meanings of it, you would have know that this verse is about our trust in God. This means that we are to get strength from God to bear us up and arm us against temptations, and let none of these things move us. Take the Lord for your God, and make full proof of it by trusting wholly to Him.

Matt 7:7-8-->"Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receive, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened."

Ask God for the truth, and He shall show you the truth. Seek for the treasure of truth, and you will find, knock, for God surely shall open the doors to the gateway of truth for you. However, all these are possible if YOU do it. Not others. Want to know the truth, look for it YOURSELF first. All answers lies in God. He created everything. God has not created us with blindness that we cannot see what is right from wrong, God has not created us with deafness that we cannot hear the truth and God has not created us mute that we cannot ask for the truth from God.

God is indeed awesome. He shows me things through my daily life. I may be tired, but that doesn't mean i will quit walking with God. God has a plan for everything.

Mihi sic usus est; tibi, ut opus est facto, face.

2007-03-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

A new song for my blog. Whee~~ I love this song so much. Before they came, this song has been constantly playing in my mind. The meaning of the song is has impacted me a lot.

Anyway, as usual, in school today, there will be someone who will talk to me about religion. In my own opinion, believed that not all things are "seeing is believing". For example, if you believe that humans breathe in oxygen and give out carbon dioxide, how is it that you dont see oxygen but yet you believe it is oxygen? Thus, if you don't see God, does that mean He doesn't exist?

I would not take the advice of a person whom i think is trying to impress me or trying to make me feel that he/she is superior than me. Godly and sound advice is better than inflated advice even though it sounds right.

I've realised something. It is better to read up than not to. There are many things that people won't teach you. Read in depth, not on the surface. Just like how we read the Bible. I realized that many things that i'm pondering about, are things not being taught to us during service or cell group. BUT after asking God for answers and reading up, i've found my answers, and at times i will ask for confirmation of the answers.

I've already planned what i want to do after my A levels:

Go to Bible School(while waiting for posting for university-provided they have the same time frame that they have for this year.)
Learn driving. (no point learning now. cause when you forget in the future because of lack of practice, you would have to go for the practical even after you have got your driving license, and i know i would forget)
Learn drumming.
Go full force in what i really want to do.

To God Almighty:

Mihi sic usus est; tibi, ut opus est facto, face.

2007-03-24T23:47:00.000+08:00

The Things That You Mention, Ain't The Things I'm Going Through. You Just Dont Know What Is Going On. Assumption Kills.

Now It Hurts.

But God Saves The Day.

everyone in this world can say that whatever they say is the truth. how can you verify it? some things are not mention in the "Guide book", it takes for you to be sensitive.

2007-03-22T18:11:00.000+08:00

On tuesday, i watched the Arena. Well, from the very beginning, when the first speaker speaks, i already knew that United World College will win. People always think that first speaker is not important. To me, i think they are the most important one. They will be those who direct where the debate will be heading, and they have to be the one who steer the wheel towards the direction they are heading, not the opposite. However, i guess that one team in the process of it has become "arrogant", thus creating the result that they have. Not that i'm biased, but even the judges said it similarly, but with different diction.

Yesterday was CCA Open House. I'm so glad that concert band so far has got the most number of sign-ups, even with a high criteria. Thanks to God for this.

After paying for the present today, i'm totally left with zero dollars in my wallet. Totally zero. Not even with a single cent in my wallet. So, how am i going to survive? Many people would ask their parents for money, but i won't. They have already given me my allowance. Right now, this is my problem. It is up to me to solve it on my own. I want to become independent, not dependent. I want to give to others, not take from others. Many of my friends would always tell me or seek my advice in buying things but they will always say something like this, "i will ask my mum/dad to pay on my behalf first, then i will pay them back." Do you really pay them back? Will you be punctual to pay them back? For example, lets say you buy a car or something that requires you to pay by installment. Would you be punctual enough to pay for the car when the bill comes? Or would you ask your parents to pay for you first then you pay them back few weeks later, or few months later, or few years later, or for some, pretend that you have forgotten about it knowing that your parents would pay for you? Honor your parents not only means treating them well. Dont take advantage of the fact that your parents love you and care for you which makes them give everything you want to you. Dont be demanding.

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Remember the story of Jephthah in the bible? Recently, i remember something about this story. It is about promises. The importance of promises, and the fulfillment of promises.

Remember the story of Eve? She followed her desires, and did not check with God whether what she did is what He wants her to do. She focuses on what she do not have. How often do we focus ourself on what we dont have than what we much possess? We always get that I've-got-to-have-it feeling. Through this, we open ourselves to envy, greed, and all kinds of selfish behavior in order to satisfy our longings. When we satisfy all our impulses, we find that it is hollow and vanish quickly. God has already given us all we need to be happy. Why do you waste your time pursuing something that is second-rated?

2007-03-20T22:18:00.001+08:00

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?

2007-03-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

Trapped within.

Don't force me to do things when i have already said no.

2007-03-15T13:39:00.000+08:00

My previous post, i showed a picture of the sony Vaio. Then well, someone bought it and came to 'show off' to me online. Apparently, my nonchalant attitude pisses that person off. He got so mad that he wonders why i put that up as my post when i dont even plan to get it. And worst still, i dont know that guy. So yeah. Not affected. Too bad.

Anyway, i have been out to study and all. I brought my laptop out. At first, i hated it for being heavy, but then again, im starting to love it. It kinda stylish in a way. Tablet pc. These few days i have been working on the designs of the band flyer, hopefully i can come out with something nice and attractive. (will probably post it here once its done...and approved). Anyway, it is good because it has got a nice screen, great if you are doing designing, watching movie and everything. Best part of it all, it can be turned. So yeah. Comparing Vaio to this, obviously, you will know which one i prefer now. Colors doesn't matter. Classic is style. [so to that person who thinks i will get jealous, think again]

Went for shadowing on tuesday at NUS. I realised so many things about NUS. The lecturers are cool and all. Motivates me even more to want to go to NUS. Haha... Learned about the 4 Ls.

Lecture
Library
Lunch
Loo

This seems so applicable to me now.

Anyway, i realised something about life. One can never achieved or do something great if all one cares about is their pride. In Singlish, 'lose face'. Dont care what people will say, care what God will say and what you will say to yourself.

2007-03-13T19:20:00.000+08:00

So nice! I want either blue or pink. It looks cool. I want it. But i would rather get a laptop based on the functions. Hee.

2007-03-13T18:41:00.000+08:00

WWW.SINGAPOREDRUMFEST.COM

2007-03-08T18:11:00.000+08:00

Hyperventilation.

Again.

This time, ambulance came to school and send me to the hospital. The paramedics really helped me a lot. So did Ms Ng, some other teachers, Abi and Amanda.

It started with breathlessness during the 2.4km. I saw a face before i become breathless. Dont ask me what is that. Its scary. Charmaine accompanied me to class, so my condition got better. It became worst, when she left. Feels like someone squeezing the breath out of me. It like, i'm forcing myself to breathe. Numbness on my right side.

Ended up in NUH. Didn't even know which hospital i was at when i'm in A&E resting on the bed. No one talked to me. I only knew where i was when my mum came.

Am praying really hard it wont happen again. The worst feelings that i've ever experienced.

2007-03-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

Just got back my A level chinese results. To you, it may not be very good. As for me, i'm really overjoyed by my results. Maybe, it is due to the fact that i dont have to re-take it. Maybe, it is because i've done myself proud and my teachers proud. All in all, i believed that i can do it! Study hard for the A's!! Haha...due to this, i've got $60. Thats my reward for getting this award. Probably i will get good progress award? Haha...but i dont think it is possible. It is only one subject. :(

Thank God for the people around me. Thank God for Bryan. He told me that he saw my name on the list for detention. I went to check it. My name is indeed on it, but i was never late before. So i went to clarify it with my home tutor, Ms Ng. Thank God she helped me. Mr Lim erased my name off the list. It was a mistake. Thank God for Bryan. He is from chc. From strikeforce. So glad to have a brother like him, if not i will be down for suspension for something that i didn't do, for not knowing that i've detention on friday.

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Do you know why i said that Questions is better than answers? The reason is this: there are no direct or real answers to the questions posted. For example, questions like, "Is there angels and demons in this world?" If you answer yes, what evidence are we to say so? If you answer no, what makes you think there isn't? Rhetorical questions. Some questions is better to remain a question than to seek for an answer.
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Nowadays, there have been strange cases we see on the news around us. A girl from a jc died from running 2.4km mock test. Collapsed 100m before the 2.4km ending line. What a waste. (am not naming the jc...). This case of pregnancy at a young age of 9. So sad. I really pity her. She doesn't know anything.

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Went to innova jc the other day for band practice. I realised that i should seriously STOP 'smoking'. It is indeed not good for my well-being.
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I like to talk to people who are intellectual. They helped me to think. I dont believed that anyone in this world is stupid, dumb etc(find out all the words in the thesaurus for similar meanings). I dont believe in it. No one is born that way. That is why God is good. Even for intellectually disabled, they are gifted in other areas. Doesn't mean that they are stupid. They are not. Treat them with equal respect.

Smart people would not call others stupid. 'Stupid' people will call others 'dumb' or 'stupid' with the assumption that they are smart.

Stereotype is another thing. I realised that many people tend to stereotype others and said others is stupid just because they did not fit into that individual's stereotype of certain issues. For example, i'm a girl doesn't mean i know how to do manicure. A guy may not necessarily be interested in guns.

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2007-02-27T22:04:00.001+08:00

Questions will always be better than answers.

2007-02-26T22:13:00.000+08:00

The other day i asked God to show me more perspective about the issue on maids. A few individuals kept promoting that they cannot live without maids and next time when they grow up, they need maids too and so the 'legacy' will be passed on to their kids. On the other hand, there are a few other individuals, who believed that they would get maids, but not rely on them too much and there are those, who wont want a maid at all.

Well, to those who are dependent on maids, they have their own reasons. Probably due to their upbringing, their concepts and their perspective about life. Same goes for those who have another school of thoughts.

Enough about our own feelings and views. What about the maid's feelings? Do they really think the same way as we think they ought to think about their jobs? Or otherwise?

Yesterday, i had a conversation with Nicole's maid. To you, you might think that i'm wasting my time talking to a maid in the first place because you think that they are of a lower class. Well, i'm sorry to said this to you...I dont look down on them. Anyway, back to the topic. I've asked her about her future. What is her plan for her future. Wow. You should have hear what she said. I told her it is very good. I asked her to continue to upgrade her studies, her education. Hey, you might think that she is not good or whatsoever, but in fact, NO! She has got a degree! Do you have one? Anyway, i felt so happy talking to her. Dont ever look down on a maid. They are not of a lower class than you just because they helped to do the housework and you dont. In fact, i would despise you more, especially so if you are just a teenager, waiting to be served, not even paying for her salary. Besides, dont you know that these are the people who contributes to the economy? They are playing a part in the economy.

That was yesterday. How about today? In chinese class...my chinese teacher said something about maids(wow. thank God for these people). She said something about people who become bigheaded when they've got maids to 'serve' them. She also mentioned the over-reliance on maid. I totally agree to it! Looking at all those friends of mine who tries to show off their reliance on maid, i felt sad for them. If they are going to do that for their child in the future, i feel sad for them as well. Probably my chinese teacher is right. So poor thing, for the kid. You may grow up physically, but how about independently? Think about it. Maybe this is why some countries do not like the idea of maids. It is also good because it builds up the bonds between family members.

In conclusion, whatever views that you hold towards maid, really ponder about it. Maids are humans too. Thank God for the union set up to protect maids. They are like us. I dont believe in class consciousness in this case. Just like you work for a firm for wages, to be called to do what your boss expects you to do in your job scope, same goes for the maid. What's the difference?

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After yesterday's cgm, i went to approach him to apologise for my mistake. I felt release after i've done that!! Whee~~ I'm free!!!

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Reality. Face up to my reality. Stop being complacent. Stop SMOKING. It is bad for health. Better stop now, it will really helps a lot with more practice. Practice, practice, practice. Hard. Solid. Straight.

2007-02-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

Mundaneness.

I could expect what is going to happen for Chinese New Year. As usual. Sitting around, playing card games, exchanging greetings, getting red packets, questionings from relatives about my life when they already know what is going on and eating food, drinking lots of drinks etc.

BUT this year, there is a slight twist to it.

Lyn is back, together with Robert. Well, we set up the billard table, and he is really good at it. He started playing since he was 3!!! Wow. If i ever gonna win him, i would have to turn back time and start learning young. Haha...Anyway, this year, Holland Nursery was flooded due to the rain. Sis even took a video of it...

Surprisingly, i've received much more money than last year. Great! Praise the Lord~~

I missed going to Balcony. Probably i will go back there to slack soon...to chill out. Probably one day i will go to Giraffe.

What will tomorrow be like?

2007-02-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

Giving My All To HE Who Reigns Forever More.
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After reading this letter she gave me, it makes me think about relationship with friends. The sermon this week came at the right time. Though i've only know her for less than 2 months, i really think she is a nice girl. Nonetheless, we can still be friends. Seeing the others crying, i felt sad too. Well, there is a plan for everything. The obstacle now is to move on. Once one can step out, everything will follow after.

2007-02-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY CUM FRIENDSHIP DAY!!

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6 Days since i last blogged. As usual, many things happen that i wanna blog about, and issues as well.

Firstly, about my daily life...

Today is Revelation Day. well, i'm kinda happy. Not because i will know who my angel is, but rather, it is the fact that i dont have to think about what to buy for my mortal, nor do i have to waste my money anymore. (whew. Thank God...). Overall, i felt happy. I received Cookies from my angel and Loader wafers biscuit from my mortal. Whee~~
Lynn is back!!! Am so excited...can't wait for chinese new year to see her. She gave me 2 belts from Australia. One Roxy and one from Quiksilver. The price tag is still there...haha. She gave my sis a dress and some other clothings. Wow. The dress. 450AUD!!! WOW. It is 539.83SGD now! It is soooo expensive. But well, i'm not into dress. Haha...I realised that people who goes to a non-Asian countries tend to bring back more things. I wonder why. Many of my friends went to lots of places such as Hong Kong, Taiwan, India etc and they bought stuff that i dont really like. Things that you can find in Singapore. (maybe it is also a demonstration of their spirit of giving?)
Yesterday we had an early Reunion Dinner. I wonder why we need to do it twice. Once again in this coming saturday. I really enjoyed the food yesterday. No Signboard Seafood Restaurant. The food is awesome....nice. The crab..wow...I ate 3 pincers, and its as big as my hand!!! Imagine it is still alive, it would have created pain for my fingers and my entire palm. haha...

Issues...

A gentleman or a feminine woman cannot only be define by what you see outwardly. (if you comprehend this, you wouldn't be asking, 'So we cannot judge one by their outward appearance'?
G.S.T hike. The budget thing is tomorrow, 15 February. Is it really taxing the rich and giving to the poor, or something else? I've learnt in economics, that with the increase in T, which is taxes, it will cause C and I to decrease, which therefore leads to AD to drop. If that is the case, how can it be beneficial to the society? But hey, dont forget. It is a government fiscal policy. Though it hurts or brings down the popularity of the government, it will help in the long run. Dont forget, a man got to do what he has to do.
Karma...do i believe in karma? Well, the answer is NO. I believe in sowing and reaping. Giving and receiving. But not Karma.
Humans are always looking for an answer. God gave us the intelligence, no so that we can question His existence. We love to use logic to give an explanation. In reality, there are many things that are unexplainable. Next, when people fails to get an answer with regards to the existence of God, they questioned the authenticity of His Son. After this, they questioned whether he is married, what happen to the lost gospel etc. Not everything in this world is answerable. The key is to obey.....and think.

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Went to Balcony the other day. Will post pictures soon....that is if i can remember, and if i want to....haha..

If you want the pic, please msn me for it. Thanks.

2007-02-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

8/2/07
I thought about something last night.

"Forgiveness is the hardest when you love someone the most."~Jiali

Think about it. Its true. Imagine God. He loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son. (Jhn 3:16). He loved us so much that He gave His Son. He loved us so much that Jesus died for our sins. How many times have we broken His heart, but still He forgive? He loved us the most. For us, it seems really difficult to forgive when you realise that the person whom you love the most broke your heart many times. But God. He forgave us time and time again. The Prodigal Son. He will wait and wait, till the day comes, whereby His children will go back to Him. Who in this world would be so benevolent, so kind, so patient and so forgiving? Even though there are so many questionings about God, He still loves. His never-ending love fills through the earth. Tap into it. Experience it for yourself. Dont miss out God's promises for you.

Today, i realised what Pastor Phil meant by "coping it sweet". The other day i was angry, things aint going on right. Then i was reminded of this, 'My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD.' - Hebrews 12:5. Wow. Things that happen in your life, may be a form of chastening from the Lord. It is good for you. It is good for me. Thats what i've said to myself because seriously, i think that it is really my fault anyway. Pst Phil says that "If you throw tantrums, sulk, or try to 'get even', you won't grow, and you'll keep the fault that caused the problem in the first place." This is very true. I've talked to many of my friends. And most of them can tell you that i would have told them that if they keep on doing the same thing, blaming others instead of looking at themselves and the core of the problems, things will never change. Unless you overcome the first obstacle, you will always experience the same thing until you have overcome it. Its tough, but a man got to do what he/she has to do. Hee. Sounds very cliche but i guess this is the truth.

Mature people shows great attitude when they are being 'adjusted'.

"When my world stood in silence, You fill my heart, with songs that never end..."
"To whom will i go, there is no one else but You alone"

7/2/07
Been days since i've lasted blogged.

Gosh. I dislike taking exams, test etc. This time round, whoa. My goodness. Half an hour for every subject. Its like half a paper. I studied the correct thing, but i dont have the time to finish it. Half an hour. For econs, i spent so much of my time calculating things such as national income, savings function etc for the mcq that i ended up not having enough time for my essays. I should have start with essays first. The same goes for history today. I knew that question is going to come out for today's paper. I've pinpointed the correct stuff. Thank God for that. But i dont have time to do my source-based questions. Urgh. Missed out on provenance. L6. URGH. There goes my ______.
I think it is a good thing to take public transport. Yes, i know there are times whereby you really hated it when the train or bus is crowded. Then again, it is through these places that i've managed to find out and notice more traits about humans. Anyway, a few days back, there is this girl who is with her friends. She boast of consuming bird nest, abalone on daily or alternate days. Her other friends, well...they dont seem interested. She make it seems like these are the only delicacies in life. In my own opinion, if bird nest, abalone, seafood and shark fins are all that is to delicacies in life, well i guess you have a very small world view about food, about life. Think carefully. Will westerners and europeans treat these as delicacies? how about other races? other cultures? hmm. Anyway, i realised that i like to try all kinds of food. The other day, Sharinee let me try one of the stuff that her mum had prepared for her. Not bad. Its nice. First time i ate it. It is then that i realised, the importance of acceptance.
Another thing. I want to thank God for my mum. I know i didn't tell her this. I should, one day. Well, looking back on my life, i really want to thank her for being such a great mum. Firstly, she is so independent. Her sense of security lies not in the man that she marries. But in herself and in God. She gave me hope, when hope is gone. She forgo her dreams, so that she can raise me up, take good care of the family. She is always the first one to be there for her family. Her siblings. There are times when she really want to give up, but i thank God she didn't. I thank God that though she couldn't stand the man she marries, she didn't divorce with him even though it gets so bad that both wanted it. She took into considerations how both of us would feel to be fatherless at a young age. She gave me the best that she could. She teach me how to be independent. She teach me how not to rely on others, how not to raise my hand out to others for help, for money etc. She teach me how to be strong. Yup. She's a great mum.
The song "Jesus" by KC kept coming to my head whenever i asked God for help. really thank God for strength.
"The greatness of a man's dream is in the others' dreams it holds". Everyday, i will constantly think of dreams and visions of others and how i can help them to fulfill it. It is not self praise that i'm trying to promote here. I realised that i care more about other's dreams more than mine.

2007-01-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

Man proposes, God disposes.

Something that a child of God should learn.

2007-01-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

I seriously cannot understand the logic of it all. Why do they only give us $25,000? its not enough. Really. I'm finding so tired, so stressed out. Looking at the expression of it all, i dont see why passion wont win this fight. I believe it can be done. Solutions are coming our way. The question now is whether we can persevere. Anyway, i feel that i haven't been doing anything at all. The problem that we are facing now, is supposed to be the duty of mine. Indirectly, i should settle it and ease the pain of the others. But what can i do?

Many people have been 'showing off' their material stuff to me. Well, to tell you the truth, though i'm a person who goes after famous brands or high ended brands, i DO NOT get jeolous easily. I do not know why, but i just dont. Probably i know i can get it. Well, you can have top to toe prada, gucci, LV..i dont care. For guys, you can have armani and all but I DONT CARE. Another thing, if all those brands listed above is all that you know of, i pity you. How about pens? Know of any brands? Watches? Cars? Perfumes? Ha..

No mood for anything. Seriously, i dont really know what is going on. No mood to study, no mood to talk, no mood to read, no mood to listen to music....as a whole, i dont feel like doing anything. On the contrary, when i dont do anything, i will feel like doing something. Urgh. I wonder what is going on.

Realised that i'm broke. Really broke. No money to give to bf. Friends owe me money. Pretending that it didn't happen. Wow. Friends.

The people around me makes me hate being a ______. When i've said thank you, it means i did. I dont have to do it again. Its not that i'm shy. Its just that i've said it. You should just go ahead and say yours. Worst still, there's a 'muggler' seating there. It makes them dislike _____ as well. Please. Even though im lost, i dont behave like a Pharisee. Whats more for one who is a _________. Haiz. Where is the love?

Just took a GP test today. I attempted the question "Do you agree that city life has becoming increasingly unattractive?" Well, i agree. Seriously. Wanted to try out the other question about science and God. But decided not to. Dont want to 'commit suicide'.

I dont know where i belong. I felt like running away. To where? I dont know. Why? I dont know.

I'm feeling hurt, feeling lost. Have you ever been kicked, when you are down. Have the feeling of been pushed around? Been stabbed in the back. I'm sick and tired of those people around me

What's the point of saying all those things that you say? Its not going to work anyway. The hole in my heart. The burning feeling in my soul. The coldness in my breath. The feeling of being locked out in my body.

2007-01-23T16:35:00.000+08:00

took early leave yesterday. early leave card filled to the last. wonder if i can still take early leave. on call a cab. total is 20 plus dollars. and it is not even to my house. to the clinic. how sad.
am broke now. only got back my medical bills but not my cab money. but still glad that i didn't ask my mum for money. i'm 18. cab fares should be from my own pocket, not my mum's. filial piety? honoring parents...
Today, 23/7/07, took a train back home. at 3 plus in the afternoon, the train stopped at eunos. something happen. real terrible. and it happened right below my cabin. how gross if it is someone committing suicide. cause just now all the workers all looked underneath my cabin. eww...but i dont know what really happens, just that we are being trapped in the cabin for more than 10 mins. i dont think its funny, i wonder why youngsters and teenagers laugh. i feel like laughing at their childishness. well, at last, they let us off from the front door, which is the driver's door. the window pane is shattered. i really wonder what is going on. many people asked, but one of the transit officer said to check out the news tomorrow. so go check it out if you want to know. well, so many ambulances and all...i really wonder. if its suicide, why do it that way? create trouble for people. sure will go down and not up.
I really dont want a conversation. So please....

2007-01-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

I've lost my hope.
I've lost my dreams.
I've lost my vision.
I've lost even my ambition.

I do not know what is my purpose in life.
I find no meaning in everything.
I do not know what i'm doing.

The only thing that keeps me going now, is my studies.

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I dont know where i belong.

Where ever i go, i felt so left out. When i'm in a group, i felt like an extra, nobody bothers, nobody cares.

Hiding my feelings

Cant find my dreams

Lost my mind

Losing my faith

Fallen from grace

Dont want a conversation

"There's no more normal families, parents act like enemies. Making kids feel like its world war III."

"There's a woman crying out tonight, her world has changed, she asked God why."

"Her only son has died, now her daughter cries, she can't sleep at night."

"There's no regard for life, how can they sleep at night..."

A song dedicated to my dad:

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

2007-01-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so near to my childhood dream. Just one sentence, and i achieved it..when i said this i mean achieving it at an amateur level, not at a professional level yet. Should i or should i not? People have already asked. The question is...do i want it or not? A childhood dream might not be the path for me. But inside of me, there's this thing that kept saying "Go for it..." when i'm not even planning to go for it in the first place. Because of this, thats why i'm thinking about it.

Should i, or should i not?

2007-01-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

The japanese girl today makes my day. She gave me her name card. I felt so honored.

Seeing my great uncle lying there in the coffin reminds me of his pain.

Jazz band is dead....the birth of combo band. Dont ask me how i feel about it.

Mixed feelings confuses you.

2007-01-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

In year 2005, i lost aunt Doris to cancer.
In year 2006, i lost Mr Caesar.
In year 2007, i lost my grand uncle to cancer.

I realised that i do not know how to handle deaths. I still can't get over aunt Doris and Mr Caesar. When i received news of their death, i didn't weep straight away. I kept it in my heart. It will take a while for me to realise it. I hate this. Now i'm dealing with it again. I nearly cry on my way back to school. I dont know how to express myself. It seems so trapped inside of me.

My mum is such a great mother. She's afraid that i might get affected by it so she didn't call and inform me. She only told me when i call her and she knows that it is after school.

I messaged about 5 people. Only one send condolences. How pathetic. I'm going to the wake tomorrow.

My grand uncle. Seeing him in bed the other day really pains my heart. Probably it will be better if he go. But then again, heaven or hell? He cares for me even though i'm not really close to him. He cares. At least he did not care for me for benefits that i will give him something that he need. Many of my friends close to me are doing that. Knowing that i would treat them when they have got no money. Now, everytime they are saying to me, "you want to treat me?" how irritating.

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Besides God and mum, who is here with me?

I'm falling to pieces. This blow just adds on to the things that is going on......

I dont want to fall to pieces...i dont want to talk about it..i just want to cry...

Rantings from the heart.

2007-01-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

Fell in love? Or is it just a crush? Its been quite long since i last have a crush on someone. Maybe perhaps the criteria of smart and knowledgeable is being met. Goodness. Stay focus, girl. I have to stay focus on my goals for this year. Not falling in love or matters of the heart.
Ambitions that i have when i was a child seems to 'float' back to me. Not once, but twice. Same thing. Oh...is it really the will of God?
Its true. Everyone was born with the will to fight. Ask Carl. He did it.
A double-degree doesn't mean that one will be a good teacher. Seriously, it has become something that i dread.
Sarcasm gets on my nerves at times.
Macdonald is all that i eat during break time. Everyday....nearly.

2007-01-04T20:35:00.000+08:00

This whole week many things have happen. But surprisingly, people have been telling me mysteries in which they kept saying that i should consider. Blogging long entry is boring. So i'm going to do it the point-form way.

"Loving yourself to protect yourself." -->This reminds me of the bible verse that we should love our neighbours just like how we would love ourself. How do i love myself? I realised that i dont even love myself at all. That is why people make use of me to get what they want. Money, gifts etc.
"The richest people on earth are _______ ________."--> point taken. Thanks. Haha. So far, i've only seen one or two individuals around me that is like this. As for the others, well, i guess they are living in self-denial. Say goodbye to LV, PRADA etc. Goodbye to those lifestyle. Now is the time to experience real richness.
"Everyone on earth is born with the instinct to fight. It is in them. Unpreventable no mater how hard you try to 'educate' them in order to make them 'civilised' "--> Now i understand why even toddlers like Nicole and Danzel will fight for a small item even though it is not a gun nor a sword nor a knife. It is in them. It is in me. But as for me, i want to fight the fight of faith. Not fight physically.

Going to Paulaner Brauhaus? I wonder.

2006-12-29T23:19:00.000+08:00

$1000. She is happy. All she does is sit in front of a computer and bam...money in her pocket. That is as easy as ABC. This, is what i called a person whom we should learnt from. Not people who buys branded stuff and assumes that they are rich.

If you are between the age of 17-20 and you are constantly asking your parents for money to buy the things that you want or pay back the stuff that you have buy, i seriously think that you should learn to be independent. Never rely too much on your parents. Learn to stand on your own two feet. Only babies require support, and even after they have learn how to walk as a toddler, they walk and learn to support themselves without getting any assistance by practicing. Start practicing now! Blessings from parents is good, but if you keep on relying on them for blessings, you aren't a grown up yet! Why keep saying that you dont have enough or have nothing at all when your parents gave you allowance? It is all up to you to decide.

Just now, i bought a guitar. I didn't regret it at all. I told my mum that we split half of the amount. She agree as she promised to buy me a guitar, and whats more, this is so cheap for her as well. So she agree. hee. Thank God for that. But, at least, i didn't claim all. I'm starting to learn how to stand up on my own two feet.

2006-12-26T12:33:00.000+08:00

Christmas.

It is a season of giving. God gave His son for us. When i'm thinking of this, a song with this lyrics will flow in my mind. "Last christmas, i gave you my heart.But the very next day, you gave it away.This year, to save me from tears, i give it to someone special." I've interpreted this song in such a way that well, when you give your heart to someone, that person might break your heart. But when it gave it to God, God will not break your heart, but rather, His love to you is more than what anyone on earth can give to you.

Nowadays, i dont believe in Santa Claus. He doesn't exist. Cause if he does, i would be receiving what i wanted all along!!! Haha. Thus, it is soooooo obvious that it is a commercial technique used for advertising and for sales purpose.

I dont believe in Santarinas as well. They are a form of 'sex appeal' for the same purpose as well.

But...i like reindeers though. They seem so innocent, so obedient. Wouldn't mind if i can rear one(which obviously is not possible).

School term is starting soon. I haven't even start studying as much as i think i should. Right now, i'm feeling so guilty of not touching my economics. I really need to buck up on my economics. This few days am being so caught up with christmas, so am hoping that the next few days to go before school term starts will be a fruitful one.

2006-12-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Christmas@Orchard

The story of Christ

welcome to Bethlehem!

Baby Jesus! But the garment is wet though...due to the rain.

Meh!!!

If only bbq can be as easy as this...

angel!!

I wanted to take more pictures.But well, the weather. Cause all of a sudden, it stopped raining. So i went outside of the building and saw this. My sister took even more pictures, but we went at different days, different timing. If you want more of these pictures, you can ask from me or my sis(that is if you know her). Otherwise, you can head down to orchard and take it on your own. Hee.

The cut on my palm. Dont know how i got that cut anyway.

My new mp3 player!!! Whee!!

2006-12-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

2006-12-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

I do not know why, but i just felt like blogging.

Anyway, this whole week, it seems like God really wants me to differentiate truth from lies or falsehood. Sometimes, what seems like the truth, may not be the truth. Sometimes, what seems like a lie or falsehood is actually the truth. How do you know whether something is the truth or not? Go back to the Word of God. Probably you think that some situation is not applicable and all. Well, if you really seek God and read your bible, at times like this, different verses will start popping up inside of you. Then you will start to wonder and to judge for yourself what is the truth. The Holy Spirit is our guide. Thank God for the Holy Spirit. The indicator of truth. Now i understand why pastor start the series on antinomianism. Really, it is very important. I realised that nowadays, i dont eat what people feed me. In other words, it means that when you shared something with me, i would think about it first. I really dont want to follow the steps of my past. I've overcome it. It is time to move on, not move back. If i'm not wrong, one of the pastor in his book or sermon once mentioned that it is hard to be a leader, but it is even harder to be a follower. Sometimes, people just missed out this point. I dont want to miss out this point and regret in my life. Leaders are not perfect as well. I dont want to become a person who blames others for not landing in the place that they want to be at.

I'm no ordinary person. I'm not like others, who treat money as dear to their life. Yes, money is important for basic neccessities and i'm my master's servant. 1/10. As for the rest, i will use it to glorify God. I dont have to hide my wealth to myself, for my Father owns everything on earth. So this christmas, i will NOT be stingy. My friend ask me why christians can be stingy, so well, i guess they do not know that their Father owns everything, so they dont have to worry to bless others or keep their possession to themselves. CHRISTMAS...season of giving!

Christmas present received so far:

A top from Skin(price tag still there)..haha
Microphone set
Necklace
Accessories

Wow....it isn't christmas yet!! haha..

2006-12-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

Alright. Vivocity grand opening performance. Sorry that i dont have videos on it. Pictures will upload next time. In the meantime, enjoy this video that i've taken of the fireworks. it is really nice.

Go to this link, i've upload the video in youtube:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wunpw9ze63k

This fireworks is better than ndp. and obviously, i'm a good camera gal..haha..only that there's this part that i've stepped into the water and my mum warned me. thats why i said,"i know i know". haha. enjoy. vivocity grand opening

2006-12-13T18:07:00.000+08:00

Holidays is a good way to slow yourself down and start to reflect your life for this year. Done lots of reflections. My goals. How many of it have i completed? Which i can truly shout out loud that 'it is done'?

The other day i asked God a question. And i've got a revelation. Well, the other day on sunday, Ethan wanted to play powerpuff girls game on my phone. And at that point in time, my phone was in nursery 2 charging while i'm in nursery 3. so well, we walked over. He sat on my lap and i showed him how to play. While he control the characters, i realised that we humans, are like them(but not literally). The game has an automatic shooting set for you. In a way, this reminds me of what we have in Christ. God will always stand by our side, fighting with us. Well, there are the bad guys. These bad guys is symbolic of our problems, obstacles and situations in our life. For a young boy like Ethan, he wouldn't know how to dodge, so most of the time, he end up getting his powerpuff girl killed. But this really makes me think, if we are being protected by the armor of God, why aren't we moving on? Why are we always stuck in the same place that we always stand, waiting for things to happen? Just like the automatic shooting, we do not have to fear, but to move forward. When it is time to dodge, we have to dodge it ourself. Remembering what pastor said about 5 loaves and 2 fishes. Wow. I would never have imagine that this really wake me up. Dodging is the 5 loaves. Why are we always afraid to step out? Just like in the game, in order for you to procceed to the next level, you have to overcome the current level first, before you move on. Well, in the game, there is this item that you can collect, which allows you to have 2 shots at a go. Well, this is like our life. The more we pray, the stronger we become. The more we trust in Him, the more we are assured of our life in Him. But if one does not step out, how can one proceed?

As i prayed for my granduncle, tears rolled down my eyes. I know everything is in the hands of God. There is a season for everything. Everyone has their problems, but it is how one handles and view the problem that makes one extraordinary. My God is an extraordinary God.

2006-12-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was strikeforce appreciation day. Halfway, or should i say, at the beginning part of it, i left. I went to see my granduncle. Well, boss condo is very far from the bus stop. And it is around 7 at night. so kinda pitch dark. I thank God for people like boss and darryl. Boss passed the key to darryl and darryl drived me out to the bus stop that i am supposed to meet my mum, which is in tampines. Really thank God for that. When i and my mum reached the place, i suddenly felt so sorry for my granduncle. Among all my old relatives, i think he is the best. Smiling and talking to younger ones, caring for us and all. To see him lying in bed and having a stroke with his cancer cell that has spread to his brain, all i can do and say is that i lift him up to God for healing. He is in his 80s, but i still believe in God for healing. For once, i see his tears. He still can recognise people and respond to us. That really must thank God for. Even my grandma can't do this.

Anyway, my heart is in my mouth.

Just a word to say to all: I'm single, but NOT available. thanks.

2006-12-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

MY FIRST CREATION OF A MONTAGE! THE ONE THAT YOU SEE ABOVE!! HEE.

Few days sinced i last blogged.

I brought the new laptop out to orchard just now. Its first trip out. Well, i walked all the way to Mccafe, but the wireless connection is starhub and i couldn't log on to it. Not to worry, so i went to Heeren to walk around first. At heeren, i went in to Ed Hardy shop then to skin. I saw the top which i was blessed with in Skin. When i went into Ed Hardy shop, it reminds me of what _____ had said, "You do not need to wear Ed Hardy top and True Religion jeans to look stylish.....". Wow. Thinking of which, i had a different mindset about boutique items. You do not need to shop at high-end shopping centres such as Paragon to prove that you are stylish, and in my opinion, i think not many who wears high-end stuff are stylish to start with. Well,after my walk, i went to Starbucks with the knowledge that Starbucks is Wireless@Sg. Which is singtel. Well, goodness, i think it is God's will for preventing me to blog about something...The wireless network in that starbucks is down since yesterday!! How great. Anyway, i tried and i tried, and there's this businessman who came to me two to three times asking me if i can get on the net. He is trying too, but he is using his phone, a smartphone. I gave up eventually, so i carry on doing what i had planned to do, which is to study, and i really did. I read through notes on the labour front government and all, and i just realised that i had forgotten everything about it, so i had to really buck up on this.

Reflections:

imagine there are 5 different people who belongs to the same age group. At a given time, probably around 7pm, all 5 of them are doing different things. Person A, is in front of the mirror, trying to dress to the best of ability to impress, getting ready to go clubbing with friends. Person B, with lots of shopping bags on both hands, busy shopping. Person C, sitting at a couch, watching television, reminding you of a couch potato. Person D, sleeping after playing 10 hours of computer games and lastly Person E, who is waiting patiently for that moment, even though it is only 3-5 mins of his/her entire life, to be able to do that one thing that many people are fighting for, to be able to proudly declare that he/she is the one right there and then, doing and becoming someone special, someone who has become a history maker. Well, in your own opinion, who do you think has make use of his/her life and did something that will impact his/her society?
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My Reflection
I had shed my sweat for that moment,
but not blood.
The world used the term 'shedding of blood and sweat',
But i only shed sweat.
Probably to one, shedding of blood seems appropriate,
But not to me.
Though i had only shed sweat, i had also give up my time,
My effort, my life, my energy,
For that moment,
To become who i really want to be.
Standing at the piers,
Anxiety flood my soul.
Though i had no fear,
I knew i had to give my all.
The A and the D word,
It keeps ringing in my head.
The sound that i hear in my ear,
It has become a part of me.
One thing i know for sure,
I will not regret any moment of it,
For i know and am sure,
That this is who i will be,
A glimpse of my eternity.
~by Jiali

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I've just seen my timetable. Maybe i'm dreaming, but i knew i'm not. School starts at 9.15am for mondays, 8am from tuesdays to fridays. My longest day in school will be on monday, till 5pm. Even then, starting school late and ending it at 5pm? well, i think i must really thank God for it. Praise be to God. I knew who will be in my class and even my form tutor. Truly hoped that i will not retake my MT, if not my timetable will be longer....

2006-11-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

The A word and the D word. Clock it in....C'mon. I can do it. Just clock it in. Clock it in. Lock it in. Its all inside my ear.

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Watch this. It is nice. http://youtube.com/watch?v=RzCjvLSWHl0

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What have i got to lose? Giving all i have....pouring out all that i have....

I shall not be afraid...for God has made my heart turned brave, with boldness and courage i shall soar like an eagle...

Deut 31:6, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; For the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

2006-11-27T14:07:00.000+08:00

Reheasal was yesterday. It seems like i'm climbing mount everest. but obviously, its not. Sitting at the top of the piers, they started singing the song Rain Down.

"Give me strength to cross this water, keep my feet don't let me falter...rain down..."

while they are singing this, i change the lyrics in my own mind to this:

"Give me strength for this reheasal, keep my knees dont let there be bruises..." ~haha...though it may seemed funny, that is really what i pray for. serious. then as for the rain down part, yes, God, can rain down your anointing, your creativity, your strength on us. But dont rain down literally. no shelter....God is always good.

Tired, but willing. Painful, but worth the pain.

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Something happen today. It really makes me wonder. How many people actually love me, actually bother about what is really going on in my life? or the things that i experienced? the only person that i know of, is my mum and of course, God. He will never leave me nor forsake me.

What about the rest? Even those close to me? Are they loving me in a way that i can't feel it, or are they pretending? Or worst, are they making use of me, be it financially or for some other purposes? So full of doubt.

I'm so ___________.

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Within 2 days, i saw 5 people that i used to reach out and have rejected me. well, maybe God is telling me to try again? hee...Can you hear the sound? the sound of people crying? crying to know the One, who gives His all, who gives His one and only begotten Son? How important is reaching out to you?

2006-11-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

Few weeks ago, i reflected upon myself. Realised how messed up my life is. I've at some point in time no idea where i'm going.

Many said that your surroundings or even the organisation of your work area. My house and even my table is very messy. Then i realised that it is indeed messy.

On thursday, just before the cgm, my dad actually 'volunteer' to clear my stuff. but while clearing, he was nagging at me. at first i dont feel anything changes, until i just realised that what is happening in the spiritual happens in the natural. probably, this change, reflects what is going on inside of me. well, i doubt you know what i mean.

Well, i'm CCA-less. Which CCA should i join? haiz.

Recently, my mum seems to be sensitive to what i really really desire deep down in my heart, only that i didn't say it to anyone. She is such a great mum. Just now i thought i've spoilt something in the toilet, cause the whole thing dropped off. i was so scared i will get scolded. but my mum say its ok. she's planning to remake it or something. whew. thank God for that.

I realised that i'm starting to draw away from people. good or bad? i know the answer.

2006-11-22T15:40:00.000+08:00

Knowing the purpose of the ministry you are in is important. Flowing with the dreams and visions of your leaders is important. What is even more important is doing God's work.

After conversations with many people, i realised that it is easy to see who truly love God and want to work towards glorifying God and be discipled to obey the great Commission.

In this period of time that we are in, it is no longer about us, but rather, about God and the move of His hands.

Matt 28: 19-20
"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Spirit, teaching them to observe all things which i have commanded you, and lo, i am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.

If this ain't important, it wouldn't even be in the bible, stated as the great Commission. It is no longer about me, but about the things that God can do through me that will bring people back to Him.

Kristos Kai Cosmos-penetrating into the marketplace.

Those that are tired and always busy, are those that God uses. If you are not even willing to sacrifices your additional bed time, or additional tv programmes, what make you think you can sacrifice something that is worth more?

The lazy hand shall perish.

Proverbs 12:24
The hands of the diligent shall rule, but the lazy man will be put to labor.

Proverbs 13:4
The soul of the lazy man desires, but has nothing; but the soul of the diligent man shall be made rich.

Why am i saying all these? I think it is time for us to arise, but start working for the Kingdom of God, not just only seeking our own dreams and desire. Our destiny is always co-related to God's work.

2006-11-21T13:45:00.000+08:00

Changed blog layout. But its not my creation.

For the first time, no money in my pocket. BUT never in lack.

2006-11-19T11:42:00.000+08:00

My computer spoil. Probably it is tired, or maybe..rebelling...revolution. Haha. Thank God my mum has got laptop. The one that i'm using to blog this and a new one that she just bought.

Anyway, on my way home yesterday, for no reason, i suddenly thought about the 5Cs that woman would look for in a man. For MAJORITY of the woman, this is like a gauge for them.

The 5Cs..............and my views.
Career-yes, if i'm looking for a guy, i would want that guy to have a career that is good.
Credit Card-c'mon. nowadays it is soooo easy to get a credit card. my mum has got so many under her name. every week, there will be about 3-4 calls asking her to subscribe to some new cards. they said that it depends on your income. well,if my mum complains to me that she doesn't have enough, why would credit card company calls her to subscribe? haha.it makes me wonder.
Car-i like cars. but i would rather get one myself!! from young, my parents and even my mum's friends has been buying me all sorts of car models and i really would like to own one myself. so even if the guy has got one, so what? haha.
Cash-who in this world doesn't have cash? it depends on how little or how much you have that makes the difference. everyone has cash. even one cent is also cash. bleh.
Condo-condo. i dont like condo. so it doesnt work for me. next time i would want to live in a place whereby i build the house on my own. with as little neighbour as possible(anti-social?) not a condo. though i live in a HDB flat now, i still dislike condo. its soooooo common. everywhere you go you see one condo, either in place or is in construction. so common that it seems like a flat to me..the only difference is the facilities, which for some condos, it seems like its a ____. anyway, people who lives in a condo tend to become cocky. well, majority of the 5 room HDB flat is much bigger than a condo.

Thats it. In conclusion, a career woman can also acheive all of this by HERSELF. Right? Yeah.
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I think my mum is slowing down on her career path. She has found a new job. Full time. She works for no signboard seafood restaurant as an accountant. haha. she seems happy to work there. cause this way she dont have to rush here and there. probably she is slowly approaching retirement. anyway, when i was very young, she bought a policy for me so that when i go to the university, there will be money for me to go. cause its in a way saving up already so now she dont have to save up again. haha...

Well, thats all folks.

2006-11-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

My Favorite quote:
NEVER LET THE FEAR OF STRIKING OUT KEEPS YOU FROM PLAYING THE GAME!
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Thanks to fans for these flowers..hee..
I really appreciate it.

2006-11-15T11:02:00.000+08:00

THE LAZY HAND SHALL PERISH.

2006-11-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

I realised that many people mentioned that family wealth stops at the 3rd generations. Even interviews on rich entreprenaurs and i really mean rich people mentioned about this also...if you dont know what this means, this is it:

Person A(1st generation)--> They are usually the ones who set up companies etc. Their main aim is to expand their business, therefore they will cut down on expenses and spending and focus more on savings.

Person B(2nd generation)-->They grow up with parents from 1st generation who saves and does not spend lots of money on unnecessary stuff. Once the business is passed on to them, their main aim is to preserve the business. As they mature, they tend to start becoming a bit more open to spending money.

Person C(3rd generation)--> When it reaches this level, danger strikes. Why? 1st Generation-expand. 2nd Generation-preserve. So, what happens when it comes to the 3rd generation? well, people belonging to this group are those that is pampered. They get everything they needed and so on. BUT they spend LOTS of money on unnecessary things and are not a bit concern about business. All they care about is going for sprees or entertainment. Soon, when realisation hit them real hard that nothing comes by easy, it is then that regret is something that does not bring you back to your past to revert what has happen.

To me, i really think that this is true. Nowadays, it might not even start at the 3rd generation. it may be the 2nd generation or 4th generation. it depends. got to be careful.

If i were to become a multi-millionaire when i grow up, i will give my money to help those who needed it. what for keep everything to myself? life is so boring if you have everything. you do not share. and most importantly, you cannot bring it to heaven(that is if you make it.. haha).

TOMORROW IS MY DAY! Time to showcase talents!

2006-11-06T17:02:00.000+08:00

GT Zone meeting video

2006-11-05T22:02:00.000+08:00

Pouring Out, This Treasure(precious) You Gave,
In Your Promises, Our Hearts Turned Brave
I Will Arise, And Lay Down This Sacrifice,
As We Building Your House On High.

2006-11-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

I typed a super long entry for this entry. But i've decided to change it to point form.

Today- Chinese A Level paper. dont ask me how is it. wont tell. not even to my mum. just know this: If i get a B, amanda will treat me to Fish&Co. She promised.
Health- mum has been spending lots of money on me on medical bills, medicines and traditional medicines from Eu Yan Seng(if this is how you spell it). Gross as it may be, i think it is really helping.
When i dont answer your questions, it doesn't mean that im ignoring you. it just meant that i dont want to say it. stop asking me about my relationship with ________.
can't stand the time table now. 8-12pm. seems like an office job. thats why i can't work in office next time round. i prefer SOHO.

Nothing more to say now. decided not to say those things that i plan to do so just now.

you and your friends are laughing at me now
you think that i'm nothing
ask your sister what you're missing!

Maybe you think that you're too good for me
But I know, i've got something better than you baby

2006-11-02T16:14:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to go to Swensens with mandy. I promised to take her out to Swensens because i wanted to treat her for her birthday. Well, on tuesday, they teased at me real badly. I was kinda hurt so i didn't really feel like going to Swensens with them yesterday. So mandy messaged me saying that Saddad will be paying for her instead. Upon hearing that, i decided not to go...Instead, i bought her a Roxy wallet.

I went to Ikea instead. Bought a few stuff and $40 gone! Had my hair cut. Yi ling called. For the first time, i plucked up courage and told my dad that i want to go for Strikeforce practice yesterday even though he will be cooking. And for the first time, he did nto scold me at all as he normally would if i told him i will be home late when he is cooking. Glory to God. Before i went to meet Kenneth, i went home to change and to take my sticks. I practiced my alpha sequence and sixteens. Halfway, i stumble with my sixteens. So i told God that i wish someone would really teach me sixteens so that i can perfect it. God answered my prayers. During practice, Luke taught us sixteens and triplets. Basic as it may be, it is the foundation of many things. Including solos.

Had a dream last night. It wasn't any kind of nightmare. But rather, when i'm on my way to school, i start to realise what the dream is about. In my dream, i thought that i was the person because it seems like a first-person thing. When i start to recall my dream, it is then that i realised that it was actually me in an individual heart. an individual desire. an individual feelings. You wouldn't want to know what it is. It is gross.

2006-10-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

I WANT THIS MP3 PLAYER!

2006-10-26T15:37:00.000+08:00

Though this may not make you go "WOW!", he is in fact chereographer of many celebrities such as Britney Spears...

2006-10-24T09:09:00.000+08:00

Clothes...

2006-10-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

Pouring out this treasure You gave
In Your promises, our hearts turn brave
I will arise and lay down this sacrifice
As we're building Your house on high

Building Fund is coming. I remembered that the last time i gave, my faith increases. I gave for the previous building fund and gave to the mission fund. Blessings came. Faith increases. There is not a time whereby God will short-change you.

Obedience is better than sacrifice.

2006-10-21T14:16:00.000+08:00

"God hates the sin, but loves the sinner."

Things that God hates:

Homosexuality(Leviticus 18:22)
Idols(Deuteronomy 7:25)
Divination, astrology(Deuteronomy 18:10)
Witches and wizards (Deuteronomy 18:11)
Workers of iniquity (Psalm 5:5)
The wicked (Psalm 11:5)
Those who love violence (Psalm 11:5)
The perverse (Proverbs 3:32)
A proud look and a lying tongue(Proverbs 6:16-17)
The proud in heart(Proverbs 16:5)
Condemning the just(Proverbs 17:15)

The last 3 that i've stated over here is common. Many people looked down on others. Knowing the Word and doing it is outright disobedience. Why do you judge whether a person is rich or poor? Does that really makes you think that you are far more superior than them? Yes, through worldly view, but i believe God treasures them. Someone once told me that in order to know if a person truly knows and is close to the heart of God, that individual will act and do exactly what God will do. God loves everyone. Judge not, or you will be judge. Why have fake 'sympathy' on someone, when in fact in your heart you are mocking at that person?

I realised that nowadays, when someone is about to complain or has started to complain or carries a judgemental tone, i would try to distract myself from listening to that person. I dont want to kill my soul. Yes, it may seems like a small thing, but bit by bit it will pile up. Even though you may think that the words that others speak have no influence in your life and that you can prevent it, i always believe in prevention is better than cure. When i last wrote my spiritual diary, i got a great advice and i think that i should do it.

Many people around me dont know exactly what im doing. I'm not going to tell anyone. Even those closest to me dont even know it. And i think that just letting one or two knows is enough. Those that i truly trust and those who will challenge me and push me forward instead of being a crab.

2006-10-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

The richest are not those with the most.

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the
country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the
trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people can be?" the
father asked. "Oh Yeah" said the son. "So what did you learn from the
trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have
a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that
has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the
stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole
horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go
beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to

protect us, they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks
dad for showing me how poor we are."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2006-10-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

Got back all my papers today. Dont ask me how i fare. All i can say is that i still want to wait till tomorrow, whereby i will get back my report book. That is when i will heave a sigh of relief.

Anyway, i've been thinking about music. Its been weeks since i last touched my bass guitar. Why? Have my passion fade away? Or that i'm focusing more on drumming now? Well, i've found my answer. Thus, i will focus on both BASS and DRUMMING at the same time. Though it will seem like a jack of all trades, i will prove that i can become a master of both.

On my way back from school, while on the bus, i've thought of many things. Criticisms about church came flowing in my mind. What i've heard, what our church used to face. Well, at first, Sun becoming a singer is a huge controversy in the past, but i realised that it is the time whereby you can see the true colors of people. Some left, because they do not want to be related to us because of this. When people criticise what the church is doing, what do you do? Run away, or stand up and fight against it? Armor bearer. That's what it is about. Never criticise the vision given by God to a leader. There is this instance, whereby someone i know, came to me knowing about CHEC and started to criticise to me. All i did is to explain to her. One year later, she came to me asking about it, but i'm not sure whether she has enrolled or not. Same for Strikeforce. Many criticise saying that it is a church ministry, so why bring it out of church walls? Do you stand up against criticism like this, or do you add fire to it? Same goes for all the other stuff that God has placed in church. I realised that the reason why Strikeforce is gaining attention is not because of connections, but rather, what people see in us. If one is not good, would they employ someone and ruin their own company's reputation? NO! Obviously. Same goes for other ministries. Be an armor bearer. Not someone who stabs in the back. Criticism against a vision given by God i believe is something that God dislikes. If you know what is going on, and yet you criticise it, wont you be trying to imply that God's ideas and plans is not good? Think about it.

I realised that the only two person that i truly admire in playing the guitar is sis Guin and bro KC. I think that they are good and flexible. Noticed that many have been trying to tell me that their whosoever that they know plays guitar or bass and trying to promote them as good. I dont buy it. Sorry. If one is good, i will acknowledge it. So what if you can play many songs? Anyone can learn that too. It is when one has become flexible that when it is require of him/her to change to a higher note or a different key they can change STRAIGHT AWAY without showing signs of anxiousness.

Thats all i have for now. Whew. Felt so much better. Really got to have a place to voice out my thoughts.

2006-10-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

Firstly, the haze got better!!! Whee...

Mum went to church office. She asked me if i wanted to go with her or help her because today i've got a day off from school. Actually, i felt kinda bad rejecting her, but well, i've got to 'deliver' stuff and buy art supplies from Art Friend. Though she will not be paid, she still went. She said that she is doing it for the Lord. In fact, i had actually wanted to go and help out, but realising that by the time i reach there it will be about 4 plus so i decided not to..

Anyway, i realised how much i missed art when i was at Art Friend. Seeing the salesperson(the guy that help me to choose my chalk pastels for o level), i felt so sad that well, i can't share with him like how i used to about what i'm drawing and everything. So i just smiled at him. I bought paints and all. i spend about $50 dollars just like that. What a waste of money? haha...

Today is promotional exercise. Tomorrow and friday we will know our results and get back our paper. To tell you the truth, there is still no sign of me being anxious. Not at this moment. God is with me. Who shall i fear?

This few days, i kept telling myself to go and run. But in the end, the haze stops me from doing that. I felt heavier these few days. Haha...

A level chinese coming soon...i should really really really start studying now. I dont want to waste half of next year just to learn chinese. Waste of time, waste of energy, waste of resources.
Anyway, i'm starting to save money for building fund already. So, i will cut down on unnecessary stuff, such as paying for other people etc..

If you can see this, good. Its in chinese.
即使努力過可惜努力錯怕寫的寫錯聽的都聽錯

2006-10-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

Blessings of tops!! Hee!! Praise the Lord!! Even though all is supergirl(and i'm not really obsessed with it), i still like it! I'm God's Supergirl! And well, i have 5 of it! haha! great blessings! Well, sis got one too...hee.

Anyway, i realised that many people like to assume. When i mentioned of how the haze affects my breathing, they told me to get used to it..haze happens every few years. to me, i dont believe in assumption, nor do i believe in that things never change. Everyone changes everyday. I dont believe in stereotypes. For example, "woman are like that..". Nature changes. Whats more we human beings who are deemed to be far more superior than the surroundings.

Never look down on the power of a woman.

即使努力過可惜努力錯怕寫歌的寫錯聽的都聽錯

2006-10-15T21:13:00.000+08:00

Today, when i open my eyes, still in bed, i struggled in my mind. To go to service or not to go. Negative voices filled my mind. In the end, i went. I served in ministry. Today, i served outside. Sick bay. Looking after Erin and some other babies. When i put Erin to sleep, i watched her slowly falling asleep. Then i thought of what Linda said yesterday..Seeing Erin feeling so sick and struggling to breathe breaks my heart. When she finally sleep, i felt so happy. Then i heard Pastor Kong started preaching. So while watching her sleep, i listen to Pastor Kong preaching. Well, slowly, i began to drift away from the sermon. I ask God many things, suddenly feeling a sense of uncertainty. Asking God many questions...suddenly, Erin started to move..so i quickly pat her back to sleep and pull her finger out of her mouth(she needs to suck it before she sleeps). After that, i felt so peaceful. God is there, doing the same thing to me. When i move in a way that im feeling uncomfortable and needed someone, God is there. He makes me feel peaceful, safe in His hands. I asked myself, "What am i doing here? Am i going for prayer meeting because i really have no where else to go?" But God assured me, i was brought to go to service and later to prayer meeting because God has an ordained appointment with me. Well, praise God, because the moment prayer meeting starts, the presence is so strong. Then Pastor Robert(i can't remember his full name), mentioned that there is no such thing as that of 'having no where to go thus going to this place(which is prayer meeting)'. He mentioned that it is the devil, but in fact, God has a purpose. God has called us into that place. Wow! God really answers my prayers and doubt. Praise be to God.

Strikeforce. Prayer meeting ends at 4.15 and mtt starts at 5 at east coast. and the worst part of it all, i have forgotten to bring my ezlink out. so i bought the standard ticket. so it cost $2.10 to go to bedok from expo. so well, the brother from my contact group said to refund it, cause they have planned to take cab. at first i was like feeling that its a waste of money cause i have wasted $1.10, but the brother is very good. He said to me that i dont have to pay for my cab fare! Wow. He paid for me. what a good brother he is.

I have learnt something about Strikeforce. Growing in love towards Strikeforce. I've learnt things and new revelations from Strikeforce. And from nursery, it is the same.

NEVER SERVE IN A MINISTRY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HAVE A HIGH MEMBER STATUS IN CHURCH, OR THAT YOU WANT TO BE PLACE ON A PEDESTRAL AND BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT FOR YOUR OWN GLORY. SERVE GOD, SERVE PEOPLE. ONE CAN NEVER BECOME A LEADER IN ANY AREA, UNLESS HE/SHE FIRST LEARN TO BECOME A SERVANT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'VE GOT A DREAM
STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN
GONNA RUN MY RACE
WIN MY PRIZE
JESUS MY REDEEMER
PUT A HOLY FIRE WITHIN ME

AIN'T NO GIANT
GONNA WALK ON MY LAND
AIN'T NO CITY
THAT CAN'T BE SAVED
I'M STEPPING OUT, I'M BREAKING OUT
I'M SHAKING ALL THE FEARS OFF OF ME
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO LIFT MY HANDS IN PRAISE
ALL HELL TREMBLES AS I PROCLAIM HIS NAME

I'M ON FIRE…TESTIFYING
I'M ON FIRE…PROPHESYING
I CAN FEEL HIS POWER POURING DOWN ON ME
I'M ON FIRE
I'VE GOT THE HOLY GHOST ON ME

2006-10-09T08:27:00.000+08:00

Saw the moon this morning. 6 plus in the morning. Full moon. To those who longed to see the full moon, there. While 'admiring' the moon, it reminds my body how tired i am. My big-eyed monster seems to be calling me....

So happy yesterday. Strikeforce was so fun. Learnt so many things. I did not make any mistakes. hee. Praise God. When Bro Boon mentioned how he would change the place into a studio and everything to make it a strikeforce place, i felt so excited.

Cell group meeting yesterday was short. Short, but very powerful. I heard the sermon is different from my cell group meeting sermon. I believed that there is a purpose for everything. Yesterday's cg meeting really changed my mindset. Really something that i need.

Saturday and sunday. In total, i spent $70. There goes my allowance, and the money that Xian Bi had returned me.So, i'm kinda feeling poor. Yesterday i was so sad. I asked God for a Word to encourage me. So i flipped the bible. Opened a page in Matthew. The verse is something like saying that to those who have, more will be given in abundance. Wow. Just the Word that i needed from God. Praise the Lord.

I asked God why did people keep asking me to pay for them, blanja them or something like that. I felt in my heart that that is because i am called to be a blessing to those around me. The more you give, the more you will receive. When you lent to the poor, you give to the Lord. My baptism name. Abigail. Meaning "God is Joy". When you bless others, they will feel joyous. Especially in times of need. Be a blessing, not a curse.

2006-10-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

I think you think i love you.

There's nothing more for me to say to you, just these 7 words which forms a sentence in which it contains too many intepretation that would be ___________.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last-->there goes my naiveness
Wake me up when September ends

Like my father come to pass-->my dad, his insanity and irresponsible actions
Seven years has gone so far--> growing day by day
Wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again-->why wont it rain now? so the haze would go away.
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again--> promos is over. the pain of waiting for the results
becoming who we are-->destiny..future...who will we become? october 19 or 20.

as my memory rests-->memories is the only thing that i carry with me about ____.
but never forgets what I lost-->i've lost many things in life.
wake me up when september ends-->all is gone. please.wake me up.

IT IS ALREADY OCTOBER. GOING TO MID-OCTOBER. WHAT CAN I DO?

I realised that everytime i'm stressed, or is full of emotions, i'll act strangely.
So unlike myself. Like how i did today.

Collide-Howie Day
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong word seems to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and i collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find, you and i collide

2006-10-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

I never understand how important the Alpha sequence that i'm learning is in Strikeforce until i saw their performance on tv on saturday.

Bought a new drumsticks. Feel so proud of myself. No more Zildjian. This is only $8. 1 of Zildjian=2 of the sticks that i bought.

"Now you are all on your own. Anything happen just call. My assistance will guide you and help you."~Thats what he said to me.

Blogging is making me feel bored.

2006-10-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

THANK GOD FOR MY MUM!

i had actually forgotten to on my alarm clock last night! I'm supposed to have my literature paper in the morning, and i've overslept! Gosh. First time in my entire life. But well, thank God for my mum. She needs to go to work early and thus she woke up at 7. when she realises that im in bed, she asked me, "i thought you have got exams paper to do today?" wow. Reality strikes me real hard! Its monday! Not Sunday! and its 7am! My paper starts at 8! In case you dont know, my school is sorta far from my house. So i quickly wash up and rush out of my house.

Next, waiting for cab. Before i reach the place to wait for cabs, a disabled man just managed to get into a cab. So well, there's this 40 plus years old lady standing at the spot. i thought she was waiting for a cab. even though i'm afraid of being late, i told myself to let her get the cab first. two minutes or so, a bus that fetches workers came. and she got in! gosh. thank God no empty cab pass me by. whew. Then well, i waited for cab. 7.15am. gosh. 45 more mins. its ok if i'm late for assembly. they couldn't care..exams period. haha. so i said a mini prayer. God answers it immediately. Thank God. took the cab.

Well, i reached school at 7.30am. whew. but my 12 bucks just flew off my wallet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are 4 questions for literature.

Question 1 is on prose. It is something to do with fishing for a living and about this two person with the same name, Jasmine. Though i seriously dont know what the prose is, it reminds me of Jasmine. From E149. hee. anyway, the reason why i didn't attempt this question is because i dont know what is a Barracada or something. i know it is a fish. but what kind? Big? Small? Tiny? Dangerous? Edible? i think this is quite important to get the story right.

Question 2 is on drama. i attempted this question. the woman in the drama has got serious temper problem. reminds me of someone.

Question 3 is a comparison between two questions. The subject matter is that of death. i decided not to do on it. it seems like a clue from ms ng that if you do this question, you are courting death. haha! i wouldn't attempt a comparison question unless i'm very confident. thee shall not commit suicide.

Question 4 is a poem. I did this question. this question talks about a woman's role. so well, thank God for the marriage seminar. i used a bit of it. while doing this question, i'm reminded of Shu Yin. She is like the third woman, who thinks about children. haha...The first 2 woman is married. but their 'hopeless dreams' is that of becoming sexy, mysterious and rich, which i linked it to the fantasies of a male. which brings about male dominance. whereas for the third woman, her husband has sorta abandoned her and has gone to another theatre to play the role of a lover with another actress. haha. anyway, it is not this part that reminds me of Shu Yin. cause before they talk about these 3 woman and their dreams, they mentioned that they are 'no longer girls'. thus, the 3rd woman goes back to her days as a girl, dreaming of the children whose voices she would love to listen playing in the garden. haha. through this, i realised that its true, when we girls grow up, we tend to think about family life. i admit that. for me, its just once every blue moon? for others, it might be frequently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw a couple who sees rainbow with 6 colors. holding hands. i felt so sad for them.

2006-09-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

Monday:Wrote 1 Essay for Gp ,4 Essays for History paper 1
Tuesday: Wrote 3 Essays for Economics
Wednesday: Wrote 3 Essays for Literature Paper 1, 4 Essays for History paper 2

Total essays written so far: 15! wow.

6 more essays to go.

Whee!

2006-09-24T18:34:00.000+08:00

2006-09-24T12:22:00.000+08:00

"Borrowed Glory"--> not my cup of tea.

Gossip. Many individuals favorite hobby.

According to Lance Morrow:
Gossip has always been one of the evil pleasures. It is unworthy, nosy, hypocritical and moralistic, a sort of participatory nastiness.

Macrogossip-detached the usual human taletelling from its local roots. tends to be exemplary, cautionary, ceremonial and merely entertaining-like public hangings.

Microgossip-the myriad back-nipping, back-fence, kitchen-table, men's room exchanges all over the world. keeps tumbling in like the surf.

Gossip goes for the negative, not the positive.

"If gossip favors, even enjoys, dirt(the failings of character), wrote the critic John Leonard, "it is because we suspect ourselves, and the suspicion is a shrewd one".

People do not seem to object to being gossiped about, as any gossip is a form of attention, a sort of evanescent celebrity.

Gossip-which concerns people, while rumor concerns events-is usually an instrument with which people unconsciously evaluate moral contexts.

example of gossip: "did you see that Glen and Carolyn got out of the same cab at work this morning? and carolyn was wearing the same dress she had on yesterday?"

Gossip is the layman's mythmaker and moralist, the small, idle interior puppet-theatre in which he tries out new plays, new parts for himself. ~my favorite part.

So, what is your viewpoint about gossip? right or wrong?

2006-09-21T17:18:00.000+08:00

I realised something today.

Just like many other areas whereby there will be the 'real' truth, or as some would say, in a 'crude' way; the 'real' thing, music is the same too.

Some said that if you are in a band and especially those that belongs to the same key, when you play a song or a piece and all plays in different keys, it will sound very aweful. On the other hand, there are those who said the opposite as well. So, what is the truth?

Well, who knows? As long as it sounds nice to the audience ears, it DOESN'T MATTER! haha.

Many music schools or creative arts schools teaches different things. So, who to believe? Which is the truth?

Haha.

~~~~~~~~~~

I saw Lyndia just now.
The last time we ever spoke a word to one another is her threat of wanting to commit suicide.
Now, she pretends that she doesn't know me in front of her friends.
Doesn't matter.
She is safe and sound, and not crying and wailing in hell.
Dont commit suicide.
It is destructive.

2006-09-19T17:20:00.000+08:00

Alright. Here i am once again. [what am i doing here? ain't i suppose to be studying? or worst, mugging for my exams?]

Anyway, yesterday night was sorta the worst way to end a day.

1) Broke my stylus. I didn't know how. If you know what a stylus is, you might think that i'm crazy to ever hear of anyone 'breaking' a stylus. Well, it dropped on the floor. DROPPED. then it break. As i pick it up, my heart breaks as well....the other time i got a replacement, it was $15..cause it was custom-made. I can see money 'flying' away from my wallet........

2) Hear something that i shouldn't be hearing. I know, that news is not like earth-shaking or anything unusual. Its the truth. I have to admit it.....for years. No wonder there is a saying that the leopard never changes its spots. Same goes for human.....

3) Think i'm gonna caught a flu any moment. Sore throat.

Plan of not blogging that much, so i'll end off with a tip for SINGERS/SELF PRO-CLAIM 'GREAT' SINGERS:

Never Assume That Your Singing Is Good. The Reason Why This Is So is Because When You hear Yourself, It Will Sound Different From What Others Hear It As. So Dont ASSUME.

2006-09-17T14:12:00.000+08:00

How i wish i could lead the life of a superhero:

Or probably the life of Harry Potter:

Haha! That is what happens when you are stressed.

Still, i prefer to be...........

ME!

2006-09-17T13:14:00.000+08:00

STRESSED! Exams fever...

Cmon. I dont see the need of all these exams to TEST whether you have absorbed of what you have learnt. I know, there are positive side of it as well, but i'm only gonna share my 'positive' view in my essay for GP. i know the topic on education will come out. obviously. we studied that topic this year...

Anyway, time spend on studying is like about half of my day. imagine...

I'm turning insane...

ways to solve insanity? Play Games!!!

Whew...thank God for games.

2006-09-13T21:42:00.000+08:00

People always say this , "It doesn't matter if you pass. What matters is how high or low you pass."

She says, "It doesn't matter if you fail. What matters is how high or low you fail cause you will never pass."

How _________.

2006-09-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

2 things that i can't be bothered with which people kept telling me:

Celebrity. I dont know why, but it seems like it is like an added 'value' to them. For example, (i shall not name names), Person A recently kept on pestering me about her knowing celebrity A. oh my goodness...she brags like mad. Anyway, for me, i think that no matter who you may know, as in celebrity, it doesn't make me go 'WOW!'..it just makes me go...'WHATEVER, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED'. you know why, it is because the celebrity is NOT you. even if you are telling me that Britney Spears or whoever famous is your family members, i will not be bothered by it. Seriously, be yourself. No point trying to add your net worth by this. it doesn't help. So please. Can somebody help me to tell that person to stop flooding me with that? I'm keeping my brain power for some other stuff. It is not that i do not offer a listening ear. but that person is just making me feel irritated instead.
Boasting about themselves. 'Oh, ____ can't sing. I can sing better than that person'. C'mon. If you can sing well, why aren't you being hunt down by the 'talent-hunter' in town? strange isn't it? applies for all areas. Btw, dont try to get into my good boots just because you THINK that i have connections which will help you achieve your dreams. Even if i have, i will only help based on different circumstances and the individual himself/herself. Period.

Whew. There. Letting out of my frustrations of things that bothers me.

Anyway, i've just gotten my promo timetable. 6 hours of exams in a day. Wow. for even 3 hours, my brain is already 'drained' away. Imagine having to sit for another 3 hours of paper on the same day, with equally or even more demanding questions. Nevermind. It is a preparation of what is about to come...hee..

God is a good God. Thank God for strength and His grace.

2006-09-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

Tired. Tired of studying. Tired of doing so many essays. Tired of everything. PW..............HELP.

God is a good God. When i'm weak, He is strong. His my strength when i can't move on.

2006-09-06T19:31:00.000+08:00

Part 1 of Princess and Prince Story:

Princess:
Once again, i'm pondering
Will i become
The princess in the tales that was told to me
Like Ariel, Cinderella,Aurora, Jasmine and Belle
Where dreams come to pass
I'm a princess too,
But will my prince come for me?

There's nothing so special about me
I'm just an ordinary princess
Sitting in the castle staring out of the window
Longing to seek for the fairy tales that i believed
I'm dreaming of a day
That i can see
These tales unfolding in my life

Copyright Jia Li. Please do not copy.

2006-09-06T09:50:00.000+08:00

Dreamt of prince and princess. I have wrote something about it...is it a poem? i'm not too sure..but it is defintely not a sonnet, nor is it a drama..haha..will put up here soon.

I realised that many people have the 3Cs. Everyone want the 5Cs. Cash, Career, Credit card, Car, Condo...some may even desire to have the 6C..which is Country club membership. Well, you must be wondering, what are the 3Cs that i'm talking about...it is not those mention earlier..but it is this:
CRITICISE, COMMENT, COMPLAIN. look around you. then you will realise what i meant by it. Someone once mentioned that when you criticise, you are saying that God is not a great planner that He has created flaws. When you comment, you are saying that you are bigger than God. When you complain, you are saying that God is not good enough to supply you of all your needs. When i mention all this, i meant HABITUAL behaviour...once in a while, well, it is human nature. Everytime...then it is HABITUAL...check your heart today. sometimes, i also fall into this...

2006-09-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

Had revelations about financial planning yesterday. Pst kong mentioned about some of the stuff that i did since secondary school, but mine was not as detailed as his.

Today, during cgm, bro John shared about the 4 level of commitments. Well, when he mentioned about the ministry commitment part, the thing that came into my mind FIRST was nursery. I have helped out at nursery many times, and i think that it is true, that are many types of people that you will experience in our ministry. There are things that goes through my head about nursery, but i'm not going to share it here. Though i'm not part of nursery officially, i stand at a 'outsider' point of view. Next thing that came into my mind was strikeforce. Seriously, i think i had better look after my health properly. I so much wanted to go to the strikeforce appreciation and fellowship with strikeforce people to build a strong relationship with them, but my stomach cramp had caused me to rest at home and not to go for the appreciation. I felt kinda bad when shirley called, and when she mentioned that the church is paying for the whole thing and many people are not turning up, i felt even more guilty. At that point in time, i seriously want to 'box' myself in my face...why is my health always giving me the trouble? Probably i should go for checks. Having stomach cramps that can last for a week is not healthy. Should go to a gynae one day.

Just now, bro KC came into nursery to put an equipment in. I smiled at him, he smiled back. In my life, there are only a few guitarist that i look up to. Especially for bass. The first person i really admire for skills and everything is bro KC. really...he is super duper good. How i wish he can teach me bass...but i heard that for an hour it is very expensive. Haiz. the next good player is aunty shirley's daughter..the female bassist in church. wow...i can't even play the bass and smile and jump at the same time! and she uses electric finger also...same as me!! hee...can't stand spectum when it comes to bass...

Anyway, i'm going to toh tuck tomorrow...i hope it is going to be fruitful...going there just to listen to a local poet reciting her poem...i hope there's gonna be something else besides that...

2006-09-01T19:27:00.000+08:00

This is my blog for what i'm selling. It is not done yet. So please check it out in the first week of october. I've put the blog address here for those of you whom i promise it will be up but well, i want to spend more time studying for my promotional exams so sorry if there's nothing up there yet.

www.youarestylish.blogspot.com

2006-09-01T08:43:00.000+08:00

Teacher's Day Pictures(sorry, no pics of my performance..yi chuang helped to take but it is too dark so i deleted it..even with flash it is dark!!! cause they off the lights..only the stage is with spotlights)

What the class did for Mrs Wong...a fish net!!! haha..thanks to the 4 sisters for the effort put in..

Vila's handmade cake...it doesn't looks that nice but when you tasted it, wow...it blows your mind! haha...hyperbole used here...opps.

Our party....food!!! then there's blasting music as well...Reggae songs!!!

My entire class!!! In case you didn't notice, i wasn't inside..haha..

Economics students!!! We love econs!!

History students!!! Mr Benny....our history paper 2 teachers...where is Mrs Tan?

Our cowboy!!!! Mr Raj...my econs teacher...he is very good at econs...in high demand...

My lit teacher, Ms Ang..my paper 2 teacher...where's paper 1 and paper 8 teacher? They are enjoying themselves over at Toh Tuck...

Whenever there's an event, the gay party will just surface...i have got a pic which shows their gayness...but not gonna post it..some people just can't take it..

Me and my boyfriend...haha...my good friend since sec 2..

Acting emo instead of bimbo....haha...not me of course..

Cowgirl!! Hee-Ha!

He is very good in music...too bad...he is in Laselle learning music technology now...maybe next time if i have a band and needed recording, i can go and approach him..haa..

The two freaks and 3 girls..

Taken after my performance...in case you didn't notice, my top is different from the pics above...this is our 'dress code' for the performance...adapting with the theme of masqarade...

Ashira...whee..she did so much work in perparing the mask and everything and in the end we didn't used it...felt sort of guilty though..haiz..

I have got tons of pics as well....dont go wondering why i didn't put your pic up here...if i'm not in the pic, i wont put it up..hee...enjoy!