Decision....

6th Oct:
well, yesterday night, when mum came home, i had a talk with her.....abt my results...esp abt my maths and science...she seems disappointed and upset that i dont' really do very well in it...coz she is expecting me to do well for my o level....so she is getting me tuition...and you knw wat, blog, she is finding all kinds of tutor that she knw...from all over singapore...all her friends...some stay so far away...and well, i knw she is doing this for my own good...bt well, i don't really like tuition...bt well, she is very serious abt it...and this is the first time i see her so serious abt tuition for me...last time i nv go she also nv say anything...hmm...maybe she is worried...so well, i was like...thinking in my head, that though i really want my maths to improve, bt err...can i don't have tuition with ppl that i don't knw? so suddenly i thought abt sis sheena...haha...she got give tuition also...so decided to ask her..hmm...and well, i guess i had to really concentrate then...well, there is 2 things for me to decide to do this last 3 wks: either to really really really work super duper hard for my maths and science if nt well, good bye maths, good bye science...bt well, i will nt give up...and i knw that God wants to hang on...and move on...i want to get good grade and glorify Him...i knw i can do it! hehe....if i were to calculate, L1R4 22...minus the maths...equals to 13 points...and if i improve in my art...minus 2 points...then left 11 points..pluz if my maths get a 4...equals to 15 points....then english push up one...chinese push up one....so 13 points....good enough though...haha....history? haha..cannot push liao...got a one...i will pray hard that i will remain this point of getting a one...hmm...combined humanities? hmm...a bit of irony there for my ss....can't let it happen....hmm...today, we got back our maths progress chart..and the worst thing abt it is nt the chart...it is wat Mr Louds tell me...to let mum see it...oooo gosh...won't she be even more upset? haha...hmm....wat to do? to show or not to show? who knws that if i show, she might get me another tuition...ooo...no plz....i don't really like tuition...haha....btw, for those of you who are reading my blog, plz don't tell my mum this...she will nt like it...haha..thanxs a million...being thinking abt grandma again...2day i was on the same bus as Chun Hao....well, he say that he is going to his grandma house....and well, the previous day he say that he is going there to look after his grandma...then i look at myself...wat have i done for my grandma? though she may nt knw who i am, bt shouldn't i at least pay a visit to her this sat? i really think that grandma need me at this time....she is weak now...very weak...wat should i do, God, plz guide my path....and well, when Si Qin called me yesterday, i told her that i'm going to serve this wk...bt the thing is, i told her that i will nt serve after service coz going to aunty's house....ooo...wat have i done? i don't even knw why i say that...haha...maybe God has already answered me...that is to go....i think i shld go...well, still considering...well, sorry blog, bt well, this few days though i will update you, bt well, nt that long...only my thoughts and nt wat really happen...so well, u got to wait till i'm free...haha...which is hardly anytime....hmm....God is so awesome....hehe....