Off To CI...!!!!!!!

7th of Oct:
Hmm...well, today, when i was wearing my shoes at my house outside, i heard a sound coming from my neighbour's house...and well, guess wat, i heard a female voice saying "Amen".....could it be my neighbour the daughter? she is the same age as me, but well, haha......when i heard that, i was kind of shock....many things flood to my mind.....if she really accepted Christ, will it be something tat she do to follow someone, or that it is genuine? The first thought that it came to my mind is that it is not genuine...i don't knw why i felt that way...bt i felt that the Holy Spirit seems to guide me in it...hmm...is she doing it to copy us? Coz whatever we do, they copy us....though it is good that they copy us in becoming a Christian, bt well, i felt that if you are doing it coz others are doing it, might as well not become a Christian...being a Christian is abt building relationship with God...and not wat ppl do you follow suit for the fun of it...thats wat i think that she is doing...for God does not need ppl, bt ppl needs Him...and i believe that God wants genuine salvation, that ppl really believe in Him and not to accept salvation coz of wat ppl say or that ppl force you.....at that point in time, i was waiting for the lift...suddenly got this urge to go to her house door, knock on the door and tell her that...dont knw why i felt that way....to really explain to her wat it is abt and tell her more abt God...felt the prompting to go and do it....bt well, i lack the courage....hmm...afraid that she might reject me....on my way to school, i was still thinking abt it though...hmm....well, today in art lesson, Mrs Hwang want me to go to the field to measure the length for my art...bt well, i went to the D n T room to borrow ruler...bt they don't allow...haha...the teachers are all so stingy...hmm....bt well, i went to PE room to borrow the measuring tape...and Ms Goh agreed juz like that...wow....wat a great PE she is...haha...though she no longer teach me, bt well, she is still a gd teacher....hmm....by the time i reach the field, the field was locked...oh well...so Mrs Hwang want me to really go and do it...hmm...well, during recess, i, Amirah and Shirleen was supposed to go and find Ms Selena..abt wat we at first do not knw....hmm...then found out that it is abt our results..that she say that she wants to help us to go to CI...and to get the various teacher for additional marks to pull our grades to L1R4 to 20 points to go to CI...she wants us to go to CI...so well, mine i have to go to Mr Louds and Ms Thiru....hmm..went to find Ms Thiru...bt at first she say cannot...bt in the end, she say that if Mr Louds allow, she will allow too...hmm...haha....well, went to find Mr Louds after sch...and guess wat, i thought he wouldn't allow...coz he asked me the reason y i want to go to CI...then i told him "to not waste my 3 months"...bt he say that that is nt a good reason...he said that the reason should be that "i want to learn more things"...so he asked me again..so i said that...and well, he said that i'm a good person....haha..so bhb...well, then after which he say ok...well, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! hehe....coz he always look forward to me getting good grades...hehe....got the favor of man...praise the Lord oh my soul!!!! though was supposed to beg for it...haha...bt well, ask and it will be given...hehe...hmm...that means that i can go to CI...bt well, should i? or shouldn't i? hmm....if i go, i can learn new things, reach out to the ppl, knw more ppl and eventually bring them to Christ...and mum wants me to go and learn new stuff...should i? i believe that God has given me this opportunity for a reason...hm....hehe...bt there goes my $10/hr job..haiz...haha..bt well, if it can help by being able to reach out, and to obey His commission, then well, i will go! Lord, here i am, send me!!!! Being studying quite a lot, a bit tired physically, still sick in my body...down with flu and sore throat...bt i believe that God is my Healer..by His stripes i am healed....friday, saturday and sunday is going to be a tedious 3 day for me...with lots of things to do...and all seems to end late....hmm...still haven't decide whether or not to go to aunty's house...hmm...well, juz now, i msg Grace...and well, hehe...i told her i'm interested in her thingy..haha...thought of doing installation after my o's...she might be helping me though...anyone else is interested? hehe....plz tell me if u r interested.... :p...well, juz nw, i msg Mrs Hwang...and guess wat, she sort of trying to be a wet blanket...she said in her msg "you are one of the slowest person in the art"...wow....hmm...coz everytime i want to do something, she would reject it and well, i'm doing on freedom, where is my freedom? haha...wat an irony....hmm....if you kept rejecting, when can i start? haiz....juz when Ms Selena say to give up one subject...coz i'm taking 7 sub and to focus on the others...so i've to choose between art and ss/geo....i need art in order to go into design...thats wat Mrs Hwang say...though the sub required didn't state that...so by doing this, you are making me pick another tick in throwing away my art...y? i love art a lot....don't make me do this.......hmm...bt well, i still want to thank God for all the things that she has helped me with... well, i juz discovered that this 3 wks is so crucial...o's is coming...and like wat all teachers say, that you've got to breathe the o's, eat the o's, think the o's...well, i think that u don't want to purposely do that....if will happen automatically...i think if without the encouragement of all the teachers that really believe in me, i think i would still be dwelling on it and not move on...hee....coz right now, my family isn't really giving me lots of encouragement, bt rather things that will discourage me...bt well, Praise the Lord...coz i knw that this few days, God is really encouraging me not to give up...He is so awesome....i knw i have wat others don't have...and well, i knw i'm going to do very well for my o's....hehe....for His glory.......I wanna let the whole world knw that Jesus lives in me!