Stop talking to yourself....

Dear blog....today is graduation day...i went to school early for my art...well, there is a lot of things i've to do for art which is not yet done...thank God i brought my discman, if nt i will be talking to myself or humming to myself for 2 hr pluz? hahaha.....hmm...bt well, today not much ppl went, and i couldn't get the whole class to sign my t-shirt....haha...well, had a hard time decorating it...hehe....well, ms selena gave me, suhaila, huda, fatah, amirah and helmi something...she gave me a book and kept calling me sweetheart...hahaa.....oh well.....well, after graduation, i felt so sad....suhaila was on the verge of tears, so was fatah, huda and amirah...i hug all of them and well, i really felt like crying....when i was bullied during sec 3, they are those who stand with me sometimes....bt well, i still will miss them...esp suhaila....she make my life as assistant chairperson better.....haha....oh well, hmm....got so feelings deep inside me now.....and well, i knw many ppl are reading my blog, i'm planning to put it to private soon...with a password.....i'm still considering it...coz too many ppl have been reading my blog and knwing so much things abt me....hmm.....i discover tat in this world, the number of ppl who really care abt me can only be counted with one hand of mine....even less than 3 fingers....firstly, it is of course, Jesus Christ, my God.....who is always there when i needed Him the most, without Him, i would have not be in this world now.....thank you Jesus....for saving me out of my pit....the other two, one is for you....you who loves me more than any family members of mine....yar....bt well, plz come back soon....and showed that you care....coz i doubt u are in my heart now......oh well, stop here for now....2morrow is service day, really waiting to experience God again...hehe....well, still, whatever i'm feeling right now, God knows the most....i'll not be stuck and stopped by this....there is so many things i have to worry abt...and i will not allow it to crash on me....so whoever you are, plz stop bugging me for solutions to ur prob...don't come running and say "Jiali...i've this prob right now....can u spare me a listening ear? help me solve my prob?" yar...i will listen, bt well, i don't think i can help u solve.....i'm a bit tired of it all...nobody helps me with my problems coz i always tell God abt it....oh well...it is as if the whole world have prob except for you, jiali....ooo.....nobody is gonna stop by and say, "how are you"...haha.....the only few times are the counsellors in sch...when they knw that i'm being bullied....nobody is there to shield me...i rejected their help...coz they frankly told me there is nothing they can do....mrs lee said correctly...it comes back in a circle.....here i am, so troubled by so many things....and nobody actually came to say how is it going along? .....nobody cares abt you......i'm feeling so sad now....i even hid in the toilet juz now and trying to minimize my sound...cannot let anyone know....dad will scold me, mum will try to act as if she care, sis sleeping...so it is alright.....oh well....God, You are indeed the only person standing with me...i can't afford to lose You....don't let me lose You...good night blog.....i'm the root of all problems....