BOrEd!!

Dear blog, 2day i went out....was late...haha...bt oh well...hmm....well, i'm so bored...everyone seems to be enjoying themselves....and they asked me along...nah..no thanxs...don't wanna hang with ppl like you...haha...oh well...btw, so far, i'm not enjoying my holidays..firstly, tat person not back in spore, not fun at all...haha....ooo...and samuel and sean not staying here liao...and it is going to be real bored!!! hahaha....samuel stay here lar...wat nonsense your mum gave...hahaa...well, right now, i'm really so bored at everything...and you know wat, on my way home 2day, i suddenly have this thought that i brought 30 ppl to church service in one service alone!!! wow.....praise the Lord for tat...seems to be a fantasy bt i believe that it will come to pass...if i believe, if i visualise it...AMEN!!! haha......bt it seems like as though i can see some of the ppl....got him leh...haha.....shall not think abt it...btw, juz now when mum came home, she and dad must have said some stuff...haha...bt i don't care abt it though...bt right now, i've got the feeling that mum is starting not to like me liao...really? haha....i dont know...go and ask her...haha...and well, i'm drawing so far away from my family members...and i suddenly remember wat pst kong says....tat when you put too much laws on your child when they are young, when they turned 16 they changed...and well, am i juz an example of it? haha...and guess wat, i think to the extend tat mum and dad and sis doesn't even seems to know me anymore...i've changed....and well, i've been playing reverse psychology with them...is it? i don't know...many ppl close to me now have been telling me...."i don't seem to know wat you are thinking abt lately....your expression is not wat you feel....when you are angry you can still smile...i don't understand you anymore...is there anything you wanna share with me?"....hmm...haha...i myself also don't know...haha...do i changed so much? haha....btw, today the whole day i didn't really eat....and all i ate was my dinner...and well, really feel like puking....vegetables pluz chicken...then juz mix with rice and cook....*yuck*...haha.....this yr christmas where will i be celebrating at? who will i be celebrating with? i know is not with you...haha...not with you...and not with you....all overseas...come back lar....wat so good abt overseas....come back...haha...i'm so selfish...hhaha...

*i do not know why...bt today on the bus, i saw this young boy with his grandma...the young boy clutch the hands of the grandma so tightly...not letting go......and well, i juz realised that when i grow up, i don't really hold anyone's hand so tightly....if not is tat the adult let go...haha....and i really really long for a grandparent to love me...bt that won't happen i guess? haha...i'm missing great grandma...haha....*


You love me due to responsibility
You love me due to pride
You love me for people to see
You love me to pity me
You love me because you've to do it....
Don't love me then...
Only He love me wholeheartedly
Only He is willing, to listen, to care, to concern
I"m juz like everybody else
But you treat me so differently,
Am i someone so unimportant in all your eyes?
If i am, juz say so....
You stared at me with such hatred in your eyes,
I'm the one who caused you all the trouble,
That is what you said,
But the truth is,
It isn't us..
Not us..
Not us..
Not me...
I'm too young to know...
Now you are criticising me...
For what i stand strong for,
I'm just like everyone use,
I cried...
No use right?
I'm not afraid anymore...
For He knows what i feel, how i felt....
And Praise His Holy Name...
That i'm free......in His presence....
Goodbye to whoever you are...
The one who broke my heart to a million pieces....

*these is juz my thoughts...not a poem...so if you are so desperate to copy everything, copy then...coz i know you've doing that since day 1*