POLICY OF --------

Dear blog, you know wat, this morning, tat guy made the whole family upside down again. I do not wat i should do now...i'm angry and at the same time feeling very sad.He made everyone so upset esp mum...she is super upset now...he scolded sis for nothing she has done..really...why do you have to keep finding fault with us? fancy asking sis to get out of the house!! WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!! you think wat, we owe you is it? sis got so upset...so angry...well, same here...always like tat...mum was super duper angry and upset...now you happy lar, the whole family coz of you...always because of you...fancy asking sis to leave house...mum says tat if she don't come home, it is all thanxs to you!! and you know wat, mum say tat it is best if she don't come back one day...see how you will regret it...remember the other time you asked me not to come home....and well, i really planned not to go home...with my t-shirt and shorts....and i reached home around 12 pluz going to one...and around 8-9pm, you started to panic, asking mum and sis to keep calling me...now i'm having my o's...so you are trying not to touch me...in case i go around telling everyone and you will lose your face right? i know straight after the o's you will find fault with me...its always like this isn't it? well, if you ever shout don't come back to me, i really going to not come home...i told mum...mum didn't say anything...mum say tat this will let him learn his lessons...not as though i don't any place to stay...and well, you are the one who is always like this, and you kept blaming us...esp mum..why do you keep blaming her? GET LOST!!! leave my mum alone....she is the one who take care of us...and wat you do? juz coz you do housework very great is it? even mum feels tat way...she is so stressed out now...all thanxs to you...you happy now lar? everytime trying to think you are very good...thinking tat mum likes you...mum told me before tat she must be blind to marry you...and tat is right....since i was born until now, you have only worked for less than 7 yrs....wat, you think you want my mum to feed you all your life is it? wake up man, my mum is sick of you now...and you know wat, mum can be such a successful career woman, she wants to be a great businesswoman, and wat do you do, other ppl husband support their wife, wat do you do? you get jeolous and stopped her!!! why? you selfish man!!! all coz of your pride? pride, pride, pride...money money money...is tat wat you think abt? i think mum is regretting now...juz tat she does not want to tell you...trying to act as though nothing happens...bt i can't...i'm telling you right now i can't....not tat i don't forgive you...bt it is your fault...why not you say sorry? always thinking tat you can get away with it..no way man...the pain is there...the hurt is there...where? you may ask...in our hearts...mum, sis and mine...and i'm a very emotional person...so if you think the hurt will heal very fast, tats when you are wrong...the other you said tat you dislike me and sis....reason: when we are born you lose a lot of money when you gamble...oh yar...right...as though we asked you to gamble...you said last time your drawer got lots of money bt when i n sis was born, you take it to gamble and you lose it...our fault is it? why not yours? even a 2 yr old kid knows tat....everything our fault...when will it be yours? stop tat lar....i'm tired...i'm going crazy of all these...plz stop!!!! and you dislike me too...why? coz i let you lose your pride so many times...when i go to ur family side and mum side...i always let you lose your pride...haha...why, whose fault is it? yours....mum actually got one period of time she can't stand you, i can't blame her for tat, for i can't stand you too...and you knw wat, if you remember correctly, few yrs back, she wants a divorce...reason: she can't stand you...her reason for not: the kids can't do without a father...and you knw wat mum, i've been longing to tell you this, i and sis have said before tat we can live without him....we dont' need him....coz he dont even bother abt us...yar, you said he have..reason...he don't us to turn bad coz he will have to go to the police station like the other time right? very lose face..so tats why mum...he has been deceiving you for 20 over yrs already..don't be so gulible.....and the worst thing is he has stealed your money before, you knew it, i knew it, sis knew it...i witness it 4 times or more!!!! plz....you think wat, juz by giving me money i will shut up is it? plz...though i may be gulible sometimes, bt i'm not dumb too...i still tell mum though...and you knw wat, how many times i've lose my money juz like tat...coz you are the one....i believe my eyes than your tales man...wake up...i'm no longer so gulible...and you said tat you are not...and you would rather hear wat other ppl say than wat we say...forget it then....if you ever make the three of us feel tat way again, i think you can say good bye liao.....
I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE....
you know wat blog, where is my friend when i needed them? when i'm in pri sch, i don't have to tell my cliques tat i've a prob to want to tell them...they knew it...bt right now...i guess not...they are so near yet so far....forget it...where are all my friends when i needed them? is this wat they call friends? oh well...i'm being thinking of going back for counselling...bt decided not to..later they call mum...and mum will get so worried...i shall not do it....where are all of you when i needed you? juz a call from you "friends" out there and i'll rush there...trying to help you...even if it is going to places tat i'm not familiar with..forget it lar...jiali...they are juz making use of you..really...you yourself knw it...why not admit it? the other time, tat girl asked from you money...and you don't have it...and you asked all around juz to help her...in the end, it is coz of her own failure in controlling her spending....and she lied to you...and wat you do, sit there and still help her the other time....3 times you've helped her fiancially...and she did not return you back the money...and you used your own lunch money to pay back your friends...and wat did you get in return? she betrayed you times and times again...and you did nothing...really...jiali....why do you fight back like last time? scold her or something....if not she will not changed...she did the same with others....other ppl juz reject her....iis it so hard for you to say "no"? even when you don't have the time, why don't you juz say "no"? ooo.....well....i've lend a listening ear to so many ppl.....now, anybody wants to lend one to me? i really need it alot..i've been pressing it down so much inside my heart....psychological illness is worst than physical illness...i don't wanna fall back to that G---- ----------. the thought of it makes me worry....oh...bt God is so great, when i was crying myself to sleep, there He is..always...really....i can't live one day without Him....