WaTeVer...

Dear blog, well, many things are happening around me now....i do not know what to react....to react this way or to react that way...whatever way i'm reacting, it doesn't seems to help.....and whatever way i react, it will still coz something terrible.....haha...watever....the ppl around me, they are not that encouraging, and well, sad to say, but well, i'm feeling that the world seems to be collapsing, and i'm being crushed down....if you will to juz come to me and ask me to have a talk, i will juz tell u everything that i feel, which i needed someone to, someone to talk to, to make me feel comfortable....oh well, whatever....my family aint going alright....mum and dad are close to each other nowadays, but i and sis are drawing away...sis draw away coz she doesn't want anyone to know about her so called "secrets", which i don't know what it is, and i'm drawing away, coz well...i do not know...juz doesn't feel right....with dad and mum and stuff....all seems so fake to me.....what am i to do? and worst still, mum keeps saying and praising xue qi for these and that....well, basically, i don't care...and she thinks that she will wake me up..bt sad to say, no...it didn't....coz well...i don't care anymore...so sad to say...all these things have been making me having lots of headaches...and i'm getting headaches so easily....maybe it is migraine...or whatever....btw, even if it hurts until don't know like wat, no one will bother one...recently, i felt that every single time, i always draw myself away from ppl...like how i draw myself away from the clique, away from them...away from my family....and worst, they are making me feel so horrible...wat happens if i dont get good results for my o's? firstly, i'll go home late, secondly, i'll run away from home....there is nothing i can do....nothing i can do to change my results...now i'm regretting....regretting everything.....dad says that he will beat me up if i don't do well....and what he say he will do it one....and i'm getting so irritated with my family..acting as though they care...like real man! i shall not trust them anymore....always making me feel like a fool...

I'm having headache nowadays that it is making me lose concentration and that well, i can't sleep also...hmm...even if i tell my family, they will not care and probably mum will go nagging and nagging abt the tons of bills that she has to pay...don't want to let me see doc juz say so k? and besides, today i didn't say anything she goes abt telling bills and stuff...like my fault like that....then don't keep snatching to foot the bills lar.....go dutch then...like watver lar.....besides, i don't think anyone would even bother to bring me to the doc too....