Go away...

Promises....upon promises....everyone that has made a promise to me break me...all of them are what i dislike...people who break promises....and guess what, not one, not two, not three...but the list goes on and on and on...i can't seems to get out of the cycle...i hate it..i hate it..i hate it...go away...

well, today is the 31st of January...and guess wat, 2 ppl's promises are already broken...firstly, is my mum...gosh..i can't stand her anymore..this is the fifth promises she has made that she has broken...and guess what, i can't stand it...she promise this, promise that, juz to shut me up..yeah right...i know her too well...and guess what, same goes for my dad, he broke more than 10 promises...like whatever lar...i don't like my parents...all LIARS...all PROMISE-BREAKERS!!! and the worst thing is, they aren't talking to sis, and vice versa...and guess what, they used me as something to reflect back to her...as though i'm a mirror...yeah..right..i'm a mirror...sis didn't do this, didn't do that, whereas it wasn't my fault, they used me...they scold me..in return was to target at my sister...yeah right..as though she care...and all they care about is using me...i hate being a middle man already..and now..i'm a mirror..yeah right...as though i'm born for this...i would rather you both go scold her than to come and do this to me..and everytime you scold me, she don't care...all should i say, she thought that they are scolding me..yeah right...she is the darnest stupidest person i've ever seen...and guess what, i hate it..they are abusing me emotionally...yeah...maybe uncle freddie is right..emotional abuse is worst than physical abuse...i'll die on the inside...probably i'm bleeding right now..and nobody seems to care...ppl ask me to talk to my mum...yeah..as though she knows everything...all she cares about is work...and my dad? all he cares about is his plant, money...this is his life and his vitamin for him...and guess wat, how about my sis you may ask? well, guess wat, normally it is the older looking after the younger..and in my case, it is the opposite...stop asking me about her..i dont' like it..coz i've decided not to care about her...she always treat me as rubbish...treat me as dirt...nobody ever even bothers about me....maybe i'm such a insecure person...bt yeah....if my family is this, yeah..so be it...so keep quiet..don't ask me so much abt it...i don't like ppl who break promises...

and there goes the same for you...you said you wanna bring me out...you promised me this, you promised me that..you promised that you'll accompany for the month of January so i won't feel so bored..yeah...you are another one..today is the last day of January..and guess wat, every little promise that you've made, it didn't happen....not one at all..go away..i don't like you....

i know sometimes i might be childlike or childish you may say watever you like, maybe thats the reason why all of you made empty promises to me..yeah..right...go away...you ppl are not man and woman of your word...and you know wat, when have i promise you guys something and i didn't do it? yeah..probably i've forgotten...until you mention it...bt whenever that happens, i always try my very best to try to keep up to my promise...if it is really beyond wat i can do, i'll apologise to you...and guess wat, none of you did that..and i dislike it..go away...stop bugging me on msn, stop flooding me with emails...stop calling me or even bother to sms me...coz i no longer trust you...so many promises...and all are empty...yeah..no one is perfect in this world, i know that i'm not..bt at least a simple apology? will it kill? yes...it kill me....yar..you know me so well...i'm such a super duper(x10000) sensitive to the things that ppl do...and yar...so wat? it juz basic things...oh well...ounce it...go away...

i shall learnt to support myself...so you won't use that as an excuse for you to scold me...use it as something for me to feel guilty about..yar...you think i owe you my life..yeah right....go away...why cry in front of me? or sort of made noise about you not having enough of anything? always doing this to me..thinking i've to feel sorry for you..why not you trust God? i used to have a few dollars for a week and i survived...oh gosh..you don't do wat you preached..you told me not to focus too much on money..coz money can't buy a lot of things..bt guess wat, you are the one who is doing so..yeah right...maybe i'm not showing signs about this...bt soon..i guess...co z i'm human..i've feelings too...

*oh gosh, wats is going on with me? i seems to be fighting some emotional stuff within me..feeling things i never felt before..tat and this, this and that....headaches every now and then..oh well....probably i've kept so many things in my heart...its abt to burst off soon..maybe..signs of it? i'm not sure..bt watever it is, i'm gonna fight it out....with the strength of God...*

BTW, I DON'T THINK I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER...WONDER WHY YOU SAID THAT..ANYHOW SAY..TAT IS A DIFFERENT THING....

*Well, juz want to apologise for all that i've said that that have hurt some people...didn't mean to..coz i was angry about something..yeah..so sorry about it..my apologies....plz forgive me..and don't feel sad k? so sorry about it...*








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