Hmm....i hate this few weeks man..things ain't going right for me and such..

you know wat, i think that there is something going on in me...this few days, it seems it is no longer me, bt someone else in me...i'm doing things which i dont even know that i'm doing!! and juz the other day, i suddenly blank out...i wasn't thinking anything at all...and i dont even know wat is going on...bt someone said that i said something very sinister...eww...and after that, when i got back my senses, i dont even know wat happen before that....strange....and its like there are like thoughts going on in my head, that i've been trying to fight with...

juz now, during bible study, i went with joycelyn..before that, i was pissed off...actually, i'm pissed the whole day..sort of? haha...and well, when i went in, something in me tells me to walk out straight away...and my headache came....and during praise and worship..it seems like something or someone keeps talking in my head...saying shut up and all the negative stuff....and during the word, it is about deliverance..at one point, i'm like staring into empty space for quite a while, then when bro joseph said something about demons being blah blah blah, i suddenly smile...and its like, it wasn't me! and its not juz once, but many times...and inside of me, i kept telling that watever that is doing that to stop that...bt i can't control it....then when bro joseph share about that sometimes the demon will speak through man that they dont want to leave and such, i smiled again..and i dont know why...and its not like those kind of normal smile, its kind of sinister...yuck! gross..and i hate this man..and when at the end, during the prayer, my headache got super worst...and we are supposed to say together with bro joseph, bt i wasn't...i couldn't concentrate...and tat is not good...coz inside of me, its like saying shut up, saying all kinds of stuff you wouldn't want to hear....and one thing, after the prayer and such, and after i leave that place, it got better...or should i say, it is completely gone...damn....

juz now when i take bus 18, there is this young girl...she ask money from a man to take the bus...then she sit beside me...she stinks..bt i dont really care about that...bt wat really freaks me off is when i suddenly feel something going into me..and thats not good..stupid...and normally, when i feel something about the atmosphere, i would either have goosebumps, suddenly cough a lot, or my body would shake, or some parts of my body would suddenly move..and if it is worst, i would feel like running...and well, juz now, i really feel very uneasy...and the worst part is when she look at me, and i look at her...and we look at each other eyeball to eyeball...and a lot of things seems to go on between that split second...i feel so sad suddenly, its like...so demonic...


this few weeks haven't been so good for me..not juz coz of this, bt coz of other probs as well, so if u are smart, you wouldn't want to irritate me, or piss me off...

i think mum is gonna faint when she goes to the parent teacher thingy on friday..would someone juz call the ambulance to get ready first? watever....goodness gracious me...


friday is the audition..all the best for us....i wonder how it will be like...i hope that we will get in..haha...