Today, many thoughts come to my mind. And i did some thinking. In one way, its good, on the other hand, its not.
Why do i fall sick so easily? Or should i say, why am i such a weakling? My body is always letting me down. Today, i have got cramps and tummyache. Kept running to the toilet, and vomitted. Urgh. And worst still, i'm running out of medicine. And i wonder will my mum give me money to buy my medicine...
People need their release of their emotions. I just dont get mine. Even if i tried, or that i want to. Yesterday, when i reached home, and when the teacher and Riyah went back to the car, the first thing my dad did, is that he LAUGHED at me, for being such a weakling. I wanted to tell him how terrible the situation was just now, to the point that there's this point in time, whereby i feel like as though i'm leaving this world. but he LAUGHED at me, not even bothering to ask me how am i. Next, i wanted to tell mum so many things when she come back, i wanted to tell her my conditions, what really happen and such, but everytime i tell her that, she would just hear, and not listen. she appears to be listening, but in fact, it goes from one ear in, the other ear out. she doesn't really care. Next, my sis came home. she LAUGHED also. is it really such a joke? i felt so terrible. i wanted to talk to someone, about how i feel, but i can't find anyone.
Everybody came to be for their release, i'm like their emotional dustbin, for them to dump it on. They shared with me how they feel and such. I always listen carefully, and not hear..but when i needed it, all of them just couldn't be bothered, or that they would just hear. so when i asked them something, they would be like, "huh? can you repeat what you said just now?" haiz. oh well. My feelings and opinions just doesn't matter does it?
Yesterday i really dont want to go home. They dont get the hint, i missed the campfire. I missed the solo night walk. haiz.
Whenever i talk to them, they would either be too busy to listen, or that they couldn't be bothered. so i would just stand there after saying what i want to say, and hope that they would listen, but they dont. so i would just bend my head down and sigh. Isnt a family suppose to listen to one another?
The other day, the first night in camp, i couldnt sleep. i feel that i'm missing something out, thats why i can't sleep. then well, Trina came back to our bunk(she moved to Joycelyn bunk), and passed me a bible. She remembered that i need to read the bible before i sleep! and wow..thank God for that, after reading the bible, i feel so much better, so i managed to go to bed. wow..really praise God for that.
Why do i fall sick so easily? Or should i say, why am i such a weakling? My body is always letting me down. Today, i have got cramps and tummyache. Kept running to the toilet, and vomitted. Urgh. And worst still, i'm running out of medicine. And i wonder will my mum give me money to buy my medicine...
People need their release of their emotions. I just dont get mine. Even if i tried, or that i want to. Yesterday, when i reached home, and when the teacher and Riyah went back to the car, the first thing my dad did, is that he LAUGHED at me, for being such a weakling. I wanted to tell him how terrible the situation was just now, to the point that there's this point in time, whereby i feel like as though i'm leaving this world. but he LAUGHED at me, not even bothering to ask me how am i. Next, i wanted to tell mum so many things when she come back, i wanted to tell her my conditions, what really happen and such, but everytime i tell her that, she would just hear, and not listen. she appears to be listening, but in fact, it goes from one ear in, the other ear out. she doesn't really care. Next, my sis came home. she LAUGHED also. is it really such a joke? i felt so terrible. i wanted to talk to someone, about how i feel, but i can't find anyone.
Everybody came to be for their release, i'm like their emotional dustbin, for them to dump it on. They shared with me how they feel and such. I always listen carefully, and not hear..but when i needed it, all of them just couldn't be bothered, or that they would just hear. so when i asked them something, they would be like, "huh? can you repeat what you said just now?" haiz. oh well. My feelings and opinions just doesn't matter does it?
Yesterday i really dont want to go home. They dont get the hint, i missed the campfire. I missed the solo night walk. haiz.
Whenever i talk to them, they would either be too busy to listen, or that they couldn't be bothered. so i would just stand there after saying what i want to say, and hope that they would listen, but they dont. so i would just bend my head down and sigh. Isnt a family suppose to listen to one another?
The other day, the first night in camp, i couldnt sleep. i feel that i'm missing something out, thats why i can't sleep. then well, Trina came back to our bunk(she moved to Joycelyn bunk), and passed me a bible. She remembered that i need to read the bible before i sleep! and wow..thank God for that, after reading the bible, i feel so much better, so i managed to go to bed. wow..really praise God for that.
posted by Abigail @ Saturday, November 12, 2005
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