I think that i should learn to be more selfish. I realised that many times, i've been so gullible and naive to actually believe in what my friends had said. Some came to saying this, "i'm so hungry and i've got no money to eat." or when you asked them if they wanna eat, they will say, "i dont have money." well, i think i've been too kind to these friends of mine. I actually paid for their food and when they say that they can't pay me back or will take a long time to pay, i would tell that them its alright. After a while, this goes on. They take me for granted. They repeatedly does it over and over again. The truth of the matter is that they are not poor after all. They just did not want to bring extra money out and thus may seems to be "poor" when in fact they are saving money. How great can that be! Saving money at the expense of others. How cunning. They have caused me so much trouble. Sometimes, i really really am broke but when i see how poor thing they are, with no food to eat, i would actually use my last dollar to help them get something to eat. Come to think of it, i felt that i'm actually quite stupid to do so. They are now rich because of the money that they have saved up due to this. I dislike them for this. I know its wrong to feel this way, but deep in my heart, i hope that they would get their retribution.
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I bumped into ______ the other day. She asked me the usual questions that normal friends will ask when they bumped into one another. Well, i haven't seen her for quite some time. So she asked me, "which jc are you studying at now?" well, i told her my school and all...and i was kinda surprised when she said "what a waste. you should be studying in a jc by now. who cause you to be distracted during your o level year?" i told her no one. we chatted a while, but well, i realised that she has just mentioned something that i run away from the past one year, which is my o level results.

Though on the surface i may seems to have let it go, but i didn't. Besides getting the highest degree or highest level of education that you can get, an individual o level results is what matters most next. and i just sorta didn't do well for it. She said that its a pity. She said that i'm smart and i should not be where i am today. Oh well. The greatest regret that i've in my entire life is this at the moment. It just burns on the inside.

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Unrequisited love is really very tiring.
Whats the point in trying to love someone when the person is feeling deep sense of hatred from within, not willing to accept your love?
Whats the point of it all?
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I'M NOT BEHAVING LIKE MYSELF THIS FEW DAYS. IM FEELING AS THOUGH I'M BEING CONTROLLED. STRESS? I DONT KNOW. I'M BECOMING MAD!!!!!